Fly me to the Moon.....

Fly me to the moon,
And let me play among the stars.
Let me see what spring is like,
On jupiter and mars.

In other words, hold my hand,
In other words, darling kiss me.

Fill my heart with song,
And let me sing forever more,
You are all I long for,
All I worship and adore,

In other words, please be true,
In other words, I love you.

WHY??!!!!!!!!!!

Oh lawrd.....another NLD????? WHY??? Thank goodness I nipped this one in the bud.......now...if only I could drag the old feelings out to channel into the scene.........

Damn good compartmentalisation and my strong-rational-logical-am-able-to-be-head-over-heart spirit!!

Supportive

Okay....I can now.....not say.....that my mom isn't supportive anymore and is just fed up...coz if the woman is ready to put me through college again....in the UK, again!, no less....that kinda speaks for itself.....

Frankly.....I don't understand....I mean.....I do...but it's like....REALLY??!!!! But I get it. I suppose. I've already fulfilled part of the bargain. I actually finished something....important.....an education. Albeit it's only a diploma......but hey I finished it.



I suppose....she is proud of me.

Right?

Mr. Y

黄义达 - Mr. Y

词/曲: 黄义达

Mr. Y Mr. Y

Mr. Y Mr. Y 是否可以tell me why
Oh~Mr. Y怎样才算最纯的爱
Mr. Mr. Y 其实我一直很乖
只是找不到人来爱

叫我Mr. Mr.Y 我本人还算不赖
Mr. Mr.Y 我会给你给你很多的爱
叫我Mr.Y Y 我不会把你带坏
Mr.Mr.Y 不是不是Mr.坏.

有些爱是急不来
我们一步一步来
有些爱等感觉来
Mr. Y把你抱在胸怀
有些爱是很期待
有些爱就是无奈
有些爱不是伤害
Mr. Y让你明白什麼是爱
我们都爱都爱Mr. Mr. Y
我们都要都要Mr. Mr. Y
我们都爱都爱Mr. Mr. Y
我们都要都要Mr. Mr. Y

Mr. Y Mr. Y 是否可以tell me why
Oh~Mr. Y怎样才算最纯的爱
Mr. Mr. Y 其实我一直很乖
只是找不到人来爱

叫我Mr. Mr.Y 我本人还算不赖
Mr. Mr.Y 我会给你给你很多的爱
叫我Mr.Y Y 我不会把你带坏
Mr.Mr.Y 不是不是Mr.坏.

有些爱是急不来
我们一步一步来
有些爱

Soul Searching.....?

For the first time in my life....or perhaps not.....but for the first time that I can remember I want to go home to KL and do some soul searching......or perhaps just plain soul searching....

Perhaps it's the fact that I've been downloading US shows like crazy these past few weeks......or perhaps it's the city itself, tho I doubt it......but....lately, I've just been feeling this, disconnection with the city around me. Perhaps it's something telling me that this is not my home. Rarely have I ever felt this disconnected from the city around me. Perhaps only in Singapore towards the end of my stay there. Tho, I seriously feel that this city is not at fault. It's just me.

I suddenly can't see where I fit in here. or how. Yet there is so much here for me......or is there?

Being here.......has made me....Since I've been here.....I've had so many ideas for projects and things to do back home in KL.....it's almost like...where the f*ck were these ideas when I was back home? Perhaps it's that right now I have the time to cultivate these ideas, or perhaps this city is giving me all these inspirations?

I don't know. I suddenly feel this connection with western TV...again more than likely the affect of watching so many western TV shows lately....I have been lax in watching Taiwanese TV.....but how can I when the Ukrainian girls sit in front of the TV, hogging it while they do homework? The living room doesn't even feel like mine and more like theirs! It's like even if I do sit down, it's like I'm borrowing it from them or can only use it after they've gone to bed. Not exactly the kind of TV watching feeling I'd like to sit down to....especially after having my own TV for most of my overseas student life.......

Or perhaps all this just boils down to my insecurities. ChouStars didn't call me in for a interview, which is quite a blow to my ego. Perhaps it's just this revisiting of my insecurities in KL. I know I can act. I know I look good. But people don't see that. I'm not what they want. What they want are these gawd knows what kind of pretty face that can't act for peanuts. Why? Or is it that I'm not doing enough? I'll admit, that I don't promote myself enough. I don't whore myself out and go for every fucking audition out there. Should I? Even John Cho said that even if he went for auditions for things he didn't feel strongly about, he never ended up getting the parts anyways. Or does that sound like an excuse for me because hey, he's John Cho? And as much as I know you guys are being supportive, friends telling me to have faith and that I rock, doesn't really help. I do appreciate the encouragement, I really do.....but perhaps I'm just in my emo phase so please forgive me if I seem ungrateful.

If people don't give you work, make work for yourself. That's a rule I live by.....kind of, a rule I mean. I live by that. So perhaps the part of me that's emoing right now.....is frustrated that unlike when I'm at home in KL, here in Taipei, I'm powerless. And I haven't been powerless in a long time. I suppose it's a sobering experience for the soul. Let's it be knocked down a couple of notches. Or let's it be grateful for the people I have back home. The connections I've made, the people I rely on. My friends. My comrade in arms. My kindred spirits. Frankly I really don't know how we survive doing what we do. Perhaps it's our bourgeois background.......or perhaps it's just me. I love you all, you should know who you are.

XOXO........

在这里 - 現實

词/Ella 曲/义达

你在想什麼 能不能告诉我
你的眉头纠结成枷锁
能不能让我为你解开疑惑
爱你爱你爱你爱你 是我最开心的梦
想你想你想你想你想你 想得我不再像我
我在这里 我就站在这看著你
你的心里 藏著秘密 从来都不让我走进去
我好想你 我好想用力的爱你
封闭的心 没有缝隙
你永远不懂我在这里爱著你
你在想什麼 能不能告诉我
你的眉头纠结成枷锁
能不能让我为你解开疑惑
面对面的时候 我总是无法把你看清
背对背想远离你 却又不舍你一个人伤心
我在这里 我就站在这看著你
你的心里 藏著秘密 从来都不让我走进去
我好想你 我好想用力的爱你
封闭的心 没有缝隙
你永远不懂我在这里爱著你
我在这里 我就站在这看著你
你的心里 藏著秘密 从来都不让我走进去
我没关系 我只想用力的爱你
全心全力 不会放弃 你永远不用知道我爱你
因为你存在我心里 你不爱我还是爱著你

愛是自私的 - 完美幻想

作曲：YiDA
填詞：YiDA

我們都忘記 忘記什麼是開心
我們該學習 學習愛學習珍惜
秋天的空氣 總是讓我想起妳
今天的天氣 是不是你在哭泣
過去已過去 勇敢走下去
他並不是你
有些遺憾最每麗
我回到過去才發現才看見
原來自己愛的一直是你
我回到現在才發現
我們不知所措 可是已經來不及
愛需要勇氣 牽著他心卻在哪裡
我試著忘記自私愛到底
我回到過去才發現才看見
原來自己心理全都是你
我回到現在才明白
這份愛放不開 妳就是我的唯一
我真的不懂 我試著去愛他到底
才一直相信 已把你忘記


過去已過去 勇敢走下去
他並不是你
有些遺憾最美麗
我回到過去才發現才看見
原來自己愛的一直是你
我回到現在才發現
我們不知所措 可是已經來不及
愛需要勇氣 牽著他心卻想著你
我試著忘記 自私愛到底
我回到過去才發現才看見
原來自己心理全都是你
我回到現在才明白
這份愛放不開 妳就是我的唯一
我真的不懂 我試著去愛他到底
才一直相信 已把你忘記
現在的我才開始懂的愛是自私的

You Were There - 希望

You Were There
作曲：YiDA
填詞：YiDA

愛不需要理由
為什麼我會懂
我的心正在痛
那是因為我真的愛過

一轉眼十年後
我依然是寂寞
那是因為心理面
永遠都有一個缺口

我的愛　你懂不懂
這幾年我是怎麼過
我的愛　你懂不懂
有好多話想對你說
我的愛　你懂不懂
我需要你任何時候

我的愛　你懂不懂

Coz u were there Coz u were there
我的愛　我沒放開　我在等待
Coz u were there Coz u were there
我的愛　你別放開　等我回來

愛不需要理由
我愛了十年了
當初為什麼
我把她讓給她前男友

我該不該把握
該不該到她家門口
這問題想了好久
其實答案在這一秒鐘

Coz u were there~ Ya there~
我的愛我沒放開
我一直一直在等待

Coz u were there~ Ya there~
我的愛你別放開
有一天我們再相愛

Coz u were there~ Ya there~
我的愛我沒放開
我一直一直在等待

Coz u were there~ Ya there~
我們都不再放開
我們永遠都不分開
Coz u were there~

Hope..

They didn't call...

I can't say that I'm not disappointment.....

Wha The...

I've just had to login to Facebook.......that's scary......

Acquisition

In other more narcissistic news......I've finally landed myself a much wanted copy of Il Jun Kee's semi latest drama - 狗與狼的時間 （Time Between Dog and Wolf）. Woohoo! Much rabid fangirlism ensues...

On top of that I've managed to purchase my Serena Van Der Woodsen dress from Juicy Couture.....oh I rue the day you said I looked like Blake Lively, Nick! ; P That dress cost me a pretty penny.....but it's nice tho.......very S.....


XOXO ; ]

quarterlife

Well....quite poetic isn't it.....that I stumble upon quarterlife on my 25th birthday....

Check it out. I think it rocks.....so far..and I'm only on part 3.......

Things like this and LG15 only go on to inspire me......of course after Mien pointed out of FB that any content posted on FB becomes thier property thereafter....makes you wonder...make me wonders anyways......was tempted to launch my own web series, some day, on your average vid platform, including perhaps even the quarterlife network.....but thankfully we have a local alternative...popteevee.....go check em out if you haven't already, sure they're not at user gen-ed as YouTube...but hey these are guys we know, I'm sure they'd respect our property rights....

It wasn't Me

I knew, it wasn't.......


I swear I knew........

Yummy Speeches....

Beauty, Brains and Power; What more can a girl ask for?

Jonathan Favreau, the new White House Director of Speechwriting.

27 and single.......we have eight years....... ^_~

(I was) So yours for the taking

"18th Floor Balcony"
-Blue October

I close my eyes and I smile
Knowing that everything is alright
To the core
So close that door
Is this happening?

My breath is on your hair
I'm unaware
That you opened the blinds and let the city in
God, you held my hand
And we stand
Just taking in everything.

And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony.
We're both flying away.

So we talked about mom's and dad's
About family pasts
Just getting to know where we came from
Our hearts were on display
For all to see
I can't believe this is happening to me

And I raised my hand as if to show you I was yours
That I was so yours for the taking
I'm so yours for the taking
That's when I felt the wind pick up
I grabbed the rail while choking up
These words to say and then you kissed me...

I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...
We're both flying away.

And I'll try to sleep
To keep you in my dreams
'til I can bring you home with me
I'll try to sleep
And when I do I'll keep you in my... dreams

I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
So here we are
On this 18th floor balcony, yeah

I knew it from the start
My arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
No, we're not going to sleep

Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony... we're both..
Flying away

Dark

It's 5.53 pm and it's pitch black outside. I know that it gets dark sooner in autumn but this is ridiculous. Especially coz Taipei doesn't seem to get the other autumn side effect---COLD WEATHER! I go out and it's like bloody KL, perhaps on a cooler day. It's not even Genting temperature yet!

How annoying. ; P

In other news.....I've just signed up to attend a talk regarding the tv industry here. Eddie Peng's going to be there.......yippie!

Hehe.......beware rabid fan girl.

Tho I have been less rabid nowadays........

This is our Youth

Alexa Chung.

The current UK 'it' girl. Young, 24, British Chinese, but doesn't look a lick of Asian. Successful TV presenter, fashion icon darling with a sweet rocker boyfriend to boot. Oh, the envy.

She's pissed off Pan!c at the Disco and lived to tell about it. What can't this girl do?

After initially finding out about this new british media darling, I swear, I had another episode of "gawd why was I born Malaysian?!" aka a serious case of envy. But then if life gives you lemons.....and also of course I read this article, published by UK's The Daily Telegraph. And I thoroughly changed my mind.

Though a part of me wonder what exactly was the reporter getting at writing this? Sure it does a wonderful job of covering Alexa and it's focus is undoubtedly more on Alexa as a fashion icon and personality. But does anyone else detect a slight sarky (am I even using the word correctly?) remark on Alexa's, and I suppose by extension or association today's youths', lack of concern for the state of the world today.

Like Alexa, I for one will admit to a lack of newpaper reading. Trust me, if it weren't because I had to read newspaper articles for class, I wouldn't even know we were in a near global recession....or is it just plain global now?....but still, the lack of concern is disconcerting.

I mean, can you imagine an entire generation of followers? Of people who don't know what's going on and just follow the crowd? Well, of course, not reading the papers doesn't mean that you'll be a folower...that's just me shooting my mouth off. But I mean really...even if you don't know how a reccession will affect lil' ol' you, and frankly I don't but I don't want anyone out there writing me a comment and telling me..I'll find out on my own thank you very much....but anyways....even if you don't exactly see how that'll affect you or if it's any concern of yours..should you...oh I don't know...perhaps even venture to find out? I know I will.......I really should finish my copy of Freakonomics.......

I don't know....perhaps I'm just ranting...but shouldn't the youth of today take charge of their own future or something? Not that of course there aren't youths doing that already....I've got tons of young activist friends at home. But I mean......how many of us just don't give a damn? A helluva lot I'm wagering.....and isn't that some cause of concern? That coupled with increased drinking and promiscuity it just sounds like the whole world's going to hell....or the Dark Ages......okay, perhaps the Dark Ages are a bit over dramatic.....the......oh lord, I don't even know my ages.....but you know what I mean...I hope. I mean, I'm sure it'll all be fun and all, but it's humanity and the earth of a time limit? I mean, if not enough of us know what do to soon......could we be reduced to a City of Ember?

Right, I'm really speakin out of my arse there......but you know what I mean, right?

Oh and frankly I don't think she'll all that pretty...in the same style category lookswise.....she's got nothing on Shannyn Sossamon.

No Day But Today.....

Finale B - Rent the Musical

MARK
There Is No Future - There Is No Past

ROGER
Thank God This Moments Not The Last

MIMI & ROGER
There's Only Us
There's Only This
Forget Regret Or Life Is Yours To Miss

ALL
No Other Road No Other Way
No Day But Today

WOMEN
I Can't Control

My Destiny

I Trust My Soul

My Only Goal
Is Just To Be

Without You
The Hand Gropes
The Ear Hears
The Pulse Beats
Life Goes On
But I'm Gone
Cause I Die
Without You
I Die Without You
I Die Without You
I Die Without You
I Die Without You
I Die Without You

ALL
No Day But Today

MEN
Will I Lose My Dignity
Will Someone Care
Will I Wake Tomorrow
From This Nightmare

There's Only Now
There's Only Here
Give In To Love
Or Live In Fear
No Other Path
No Other Way
No Day But Today

No Day But Today
No Day But Today
No Day But Today
No Day But Today
No Day But Today

All
No Day But Today

Fall

Fall - Something Corporate



i close my eyes
thought i was lost but i was stranded
i go outside
to my surprise the sky had landed
i thought it made more sense
if i could only keep you guessing
i was a fool to think
that i should stop you from undressing
now i'm believing all the words you say
that i can't say back to you
to you

so i fall
i don't wanna feel this small
you know i just can't handle this
handle this at all
and i'll just fall
i let my heartbeat drop
i falter as the music stops
and you watch me as stall
and wonder when i fall

i kiss your neck
i feel you breathing on my shoulder
still i'm perfect
it must be you cause now it's over
i was so close
that was the most that i have ever been through
now old cassettes and cigarettes
will be the ones to save you
how can you ask for me to stay
when all you ever do is go?
just go

and so i fall
i don't wanna feel this small
you know i just can't handle this
handle this at all
and so i fall
i let my heartbeat drop
i falter as the music stops
and you watch me as i stall
and wonder when i..

go on
you've kept me waiting
go on
and watch me as i fall
i don't wanna feel this small
you know i just can't handle this
handle this at all
and so i fall
i let my heartbeat drop
i falter as the music stops
and you watch me as i stall
and wonder when i..

Prudence

Has anyone ever noticed that tho it's perfectly fine to say, my 'old man' but absolutely a faux pas to say, my 'old woman', when it comes to our parents?

Well in the english language anyways.....I mean, gender differential age sensitivity aside...it just sounds plain wrong.........you know what I mean?

When I grow old....

....I want to age like.......

Carrie Bradshaw.

Save me....

OMG...I just spent 3k TWD on shoes...that's roughly RM300.......I'm turning into a girlie girl! Help! I just narrowly escaped buying a pair of boots too.....they made my knees look tiny.....a good thing.......argh!!!

Someone save my wallet from myself!

5 Takes : My Way

Oh my gawd! While doing some online surfing and formulating an idea for Mission Americana and post discovery of lonelygirl15.....I stumbled upon the most...rad idea........can you just imagine a guerrilla filmmaking styled travel show, showing the v-logs of a group of friends travelling or backpacking through wherever? kinda like 5 takes.....only....REAL(okay.....I mean 5 Takes is real too, so perhaps the word I'm looking for is less budget).....as in no pro production team and just RAW!? I mean, screw TV right? If they don't want me.... ; P

Tho....I'm sure it's not the most original idea.....and I mean, who could afford to do something like this?? Where would I even begin to get the funding in KL for a project like this? The project in itself could go two ways........completely truth and factual or lonelygirl15 fiction...or perhaps a mixture of both.......

Now, wait what is Mission Americana? Well....truth be told, it's just an idea at the moment, but it's basically the sister of Mission Britannica, which is my major England and Ireland travel experience thingy.....right now it's basically all the things I wanna see and do in the UK(Britanicca) and the US(Americana) all jumbled into one and somehow trying to find a way to make it all fit. Stuff I wanna do in these places right now include and are in no way exhaustive are......

• Haggis Tour of Scotland to overnight in a castle!
• Shamrock Tour of Ireland to experience the Eire
• 2-3 week course at Oideas Gael to study Gaelic and learn 'in depth' about Irish culture
• Sacred Journeys tour of England to get in touch with me spirituality
• Various hodge podge of activities in and around good ol' London, including of course VARIOUS Walking London Tours, West End shows
  
• Trip to Blackpool , perhaps even Notthingham, Stratford-upon-Avon, and isn't there a huge terrarium somewhere with a rainforest in it? Of course...how could I have forgotten...
• Visit to the Eden Project
  
• Experience New Orleans Mardi Gras
• 1 week Pilobolos Summer Workshop
• 2 week Performing Artists Cultural Visitors Program at the Kennedy Center
• 2 week seminar at Arcosanti
• In NY itself : Nuyorican Poets Cafe, Dr. Sketychy's Anti Art Class, burlesque class, Coney Island Side Show School, not mention watch loads of Broadway
• Vegas
• 1-2 weeks in Orlando, Disney World ppl!
• 1-2 weeks in California...heaven knows to do what else, but the theme parks are defo on the agenda
  

Bottom line of course...all of what I wanna do, is gonna cost a lot of money.....and of course, may not interest other people.....true, certain aspects of these trips are totally for self fulfillment, but I mean, there are aspects that others might like right? Partying at Mardi Gras in New Orleans, DisneyWolrd, theme parks??

The only reason that there's no Mission Europa right now, is coz I'm hopin' yo join Jeff and the boys on their Eurotrip next autumn, but if I ain't got the funds fer that when the time comes, then a definite planning for Mission Europa will definitely go underway!! Hehehe.....

Gosh, if I ever get any of these trips off the ground....it'll be such a blast.....

Any takers?

internet tv

Right....okay..so watching a wee bit too much internet tv...mainly from the US...will be leaving me with a wee bit of a Valley Girl accent.....

Right so.....I've been like online virtually the whole day checking out webisodes on the internet right...and I've stumbled onto some real jems.....see..me and my friedns back home have toyed with the idea of doing like lots of online media stuff...Malik with his post Joanne Kam revue show/SNL idea and David C with his no-holds-barred zine idea.....and well...lil'o me who gets easily inspired by watching everything and anything I get my peepers on....tho usually on more fanfic like endeavours..

But anywhos....on my quest today, I came across the whole lonelygirl15 phenom....and I find it really really intriguing...... of course, viewing it all now in like ultra retrospect and the complete knowledge that is it a 'show' more than likely detracts from it's impact. But for 'research's sake, I'm planning to follow the current lonelygirl15 series - lonelygirl15:the resistance. just to feel the effects........

Aside from that I'm totally into like imagining a phenom like that's impact on the Malaysian TV industry....I can't wait to tell Boss!!!

I mean, Malaysian media is already doing stuff like Media Prima's CatchUp TV and also Gua.com.my's online shows. With the lack(or lax) of censorship on the web in Malaysia, online would be the way to go no? I mean, imagine the stories you could tell? Already before discovering lonelygirl15. I had wanted to do a very teen and internet based TV show.....adding a internet dimension to it...would only add to the.....mythology? or coherence of the show's universe or whatever you call it......of course...right now, it's just me shooting my mouth off and not being able to do anything much about it concretely since I really envisioning doing this in KL and all my resources are there anyways......

Of course this strong desire to do something back home, kind of detracts from my vision of my future here in Taiwan.....all Laws of Attraction and stuff like that.....I mean, I can totally and almost abso-concre-lutely envisioning taking this project off the ground....I mean, it'd just be so easy....tho of course, the hardest part would be the writing...it would need to be so incredibly tight! I am an absolute believe in strong scripts not to mention good art direction......

Oh..the possibilities!!!!!!! But concentrate.....I need to concentrate on the task at hand!!! That's one of my problems.....I daydream alot......so many ideas......but I don't know how to execute them!!!


Now for those of you who don't know what lonelygirl15 is......check it:
start here : http://www.lg15.com/lonelygirl15/?p=69
on Wikipedia : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lonelygirl15
on Encyclopedia Dramatica : http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Lonelygirl15
*warning Enclyclopedia Dramatica is not work or kid friendly!!! But in my net tv show research...I think it's a gem!!! eugene......i think you'd like this site...... ; ]

It has began.....

And it begins again......

Finally!!!! Money......

Gawd!! 21 days! Can you believe it? 21 f-ing days to clear a international bank draft??

So, I finally have my money. So I finally can begin......to live!

Jeez-us......do you know how it's like not to be able to just like start things off right off the bat and have to wait, and for a bloody long time almost a month!!!, to get the ball rolling??? Knowing full well that you don't have that much time to begin with!!! On a deadline people!!!!

Gawd....

But whatever it is...it's over. It's done. It's here.



ps: so...note to relocators...check if the country you relocate to readily accepts bank drafts......

Movenpick Waffles and Ice Cream

AARRGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what my problem is? I obsess......I obsess to the point of distraction....till I sometimes can't even sleep. Why is gawd's sweet name am I so hesitant about certain things? Just go up and talk to them! And if you don't.....STOP OBSESSING ABOUT IT.

I sometimes wish that my brain had this OFF switch or an AUTO-PILOT switch so I could get some bloody sleep!!!

HELP!

试验 - tesing - 1, 2, 3

Woohoo!!! Yatta! It works!!

现在再也不用靠NJStar了！

Currently using - Google PinYin IME. (Get it yourself)

Now to make it spew Traditional Chinese Characters......

Insignificant

I cannot believe how insignificant I feel right now. I feel like some rat that's crawled into a deep dark place to get away from the world or escape reality.

At home, the political climate is changing. Anwar is back and is planning to change the country. This could, this might, this...is the dawn of a brand new era. For I think, regardless of whether or not Sept 16 goes according to plan, Malaysian politics will be changed forever. For better or for worse, only Sept 16th and time, will tell.

And here I am. 'Chasing my dreams' all the way out here in Taiwan. When a part of me wants to take to the streets when they do back home. Wants to join in the vigils. The protests. Take that walk and light that candle. Perhaps I'm just in it for the opportunity, the chance to feel like I'm making a difference. Like I'm standing up for something, when really, I'm just there when it's seemingly convenient or spectacular. That I'm only there for the drama...in chinese...凑热闹. Perhaps I am. But so what?

Compared to what's happening back home, what I'm doing, pales in comparison. So, insignificant. So futile. Dare I say....selfish? A part of me wishes I was an activist. That I am the kind that constantly strives to make our society better. The kind that actually does something that worthwhile, not only for themselves and their immediate surrounding circle, but for their society and their people and for the world. The opportunity has also been there.......but I've never really.....grabbed it.

Why?

Why am I choosing to lead my life away from my society? Away from the achievement of the greater good (if that makes sense). Why am I choosing a path and leads away from the masses and towards the self? Am I selfish? Am I? For as a celebrity, what can I do for my country? What?

What?

edit - 2:08am
But what could I possibly at home? March. Protest. Rally. What use would that serve? A demonstration of democracy, a show of people's will. ....what?

But what I truly want. What I truly feel, is the need to just be there. To sit on Malaysian soil with my brethren and wait. With bated breath. For a new age. Or not. To just, be ,There. And not far away, removed from my world, my country, my home in her time of distress.

To just be.....There.

Celeb Gawk Report 1

Celebrity Sighting 1.5
Artiste : Eddie Peng / 彭于晏
Location : Taipei Arena
Date : September 12
Time : 11ish PM
Status : Pure Gawk

Why 1.5? Coz.......

First Celebrity Sighting
Celebrity Sighting .75
Artiste : Vince Chong!
Location : He Ping Dong Road
Date : September 9
Time : 3:05ish PM
Status : Missed Connection

Non-counter conclusion = Edddie's tall and not photogenic...and I mean that in a good way. Coz photogenic means, you look better on camera. And he's got perfect skin! I need a beauty team stat!

Boodles....

My latest obsession........Boodles!

Check 'em out.......whimsical jewelery(especially the wonderland collection)............so pretty! But they look dead expensive......afterall, they are also British!



Plus the word is so fun to say! Say it with me now.....Boodles....Boooooodles....Boo-dles...Bo'dles..Boo!dles.....

Heehheheee.....

BOODLES!!

Surreal

未免也太猛了吧.......

I step out of my room to go and collect my laundry, which I think is overdue, and the washing machine beeps to signal it's finished??? O_0

Sunday...

So...........I'ma gonna go paintballin' in about 8 hours....wish me luck! I'll be sure to take lots of photos and be an absolute tourist!

From the sounds of it...it's woodsballs on the menu....crackers....I think i'm more of a speedball kinda person myself....but oh well....and isn't it funny that it takes me going overseas and being ask by my mum's friend's daughter Ingrid for me to finally go paintballing?

Funny how the world works eh?

Feels like Home

在台湾这两天都是阴天，还下了一阵阵的小雨， 天上都是乌云。很像伦敦喔。It feels like home.

让我这次来台湾，第一次，感觉到......我到了外国。

花より男子F - Hana Yori Dango F - 花樣男子F - Boys Over Flowers F -

刚刚看了流星花园F。

The question still remains......

あたし の花沢 類 がいるところ?

Mamma Mia!

So I went top watch Mamma Mia just now....and I have to say......I'm impressed...

I generally don't watch musical made into movies......but after watching the trailer...it seemed a fun jaunt. So what the heck? And fun it was...

But even so, I have to say, Mamma Mia itself is so theatrical and it would most probabaly lend itself best to the stage. The movie tho I believe does do it justice, but I haven't watched the musical so I wouldn't know.

Frankly tho, the musical never was on any of must watch lists.......the posters for the musical just never seemed appealing. And I'm sure the production design for the musical would probably have gone for the more 'traditional' greek wedding route. I'm glad the movie didn't.

As always with most films that I like, the cinematography was awesome. The breathtaking views of the Greek Islands is really a sight to behold. And the quaint little inn they've set up in the backlot is just superb, I wish it was real!

Acting-wise, I think it's pretty top notch. Singing......Mr Bond, please let the other agents do the job aight? But of course, Mr Bond's fully got his acting chops on! And Meryl Streeps always a joy. And I absolutley love Christine Baranski!! I think if I were ever cast in the musical...I'd get (and want!) her character! She's just so....fiesty! Is that the word I'm looking for? Whatever.... but yea! She's awesome!! Why does she always get second grade roles? The woman is though, seriously typecasted. .......sigh......what to do?

Mamma Mia is definitely worth a watch and if you know the lyrics to Abba songs......be warned you just might find yourself singing along to their catchy tunes!

New Chapter, New Beginnings

So. It's been about a week since I left good old Tanah Melayu. And today is Hari Merdeka, the day we Malaysian won our independence from the British and declared ourselves Malaysia. It was a time to rejoice. I wish I could say the same about me. I am happy that I am here, away from the mother land, the people that I love. I'm even to a certain extent, use to it. But with all new beginnings, there comes that uncertainty for the future. That feeling of immense lost that comes with moving on. It is a time for........a teething period. A period where things are up in the air and nothing seems quite right. I'm at a place where everything I'm used to is not at my finger tips. I am adrift.

But that's not to say that I want to go back. That would be easy. That is not what I want. I just want the familiar. I want that sense of belonging. That sense that everything is going to be alright.

Perhaps I just need to find my center. My groove in this.....not so strange place. Perhaps I just need to find my place here....in the grand scheme of things. I do not want to go back. I want to stay. I am not.......homesick.

Perhaps it is a bit early to talk of all this. Afterall, I haven't even met my classmates, classes haven't even started. Perhaps it is my inability to jump right into things as I would have liked. Maybe it's the suddenness of departure from home soil. Perhaps I'm just overwhelmed. Perhaps......

When I Grow Up

"When I Grow Up" - PCD



Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy)
And you don’t care what they say
See, everytime you turn around
They scream your name

Now I've got a confession
When I was young I wanted attention
And I promised myself that I’d do anything
Anything at all for them to notice me

But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You know what it's like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
'Cause see when I was younger I would say

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines

When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it

They used to tell me I was silly
Until I popped up on the TV
I always wanted to be a superstar
And knew that singing songs would get me this far

But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You know what it's like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
'Cause see, when I was younger I would say

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines

When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it

I see them staring at me
Oh I'm a trendsetter
Yes this is true 'cause what I do, no one can do it better
You can talk about me
'Cause I'm a hot topic
I see you watching me, watching me, and I know you want it


When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines

When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it

Parental?

Right so I was walking home from Aman Suria right...it's getting dark....I'm walking home in my space-cadet-Forest-Gump mode with my laptop bag and sling bag in tow, holding a carton of milk and a box of eggs I bought from Sevenies and once I reach a condo lobby.......a thought just struck me...I can't really remember what lead my mind to it....but this is the only thing that stuck......

The thought was.......I don't look much like a parent....or the ideals of what I think a parent would look like..... Not to say that I'ma lookin to be one any time soon...HELL NO! HEAVEN FORBID I SHOULD HAVE SPAWN(!!!) AT THIS TIME!.....but I just don't see myself fitting any form of the parent stereotype.....well, the good ones anyway......I don't look the part..... as strange and this will sound....I just don't think I'm........wait for it.......tall enough(!!?!!)

Really??!! Really......and I mean, I'm tall as tall gets for an Asian girl......heck perhaps even by some Western standards.... But I just don't see any lil' tykes looking up at me and saying "mommy"......I mean, "jie jie" maybe canlah....just "ma".......not quite. It's like I expect a parent.....to be like exponentially taller that their offspring or something...and something in the scale makeup of my body just doesn't seem right......it's like the proportions aren't right or something........it's strange and bizarre......

yuck.....enough talking about kids.....it's weirding me out..... ; P

On the road.......

Right, so first day in Thailand.......Words first picture later.......forgot to bring camera cable.... ; P

So. Trip to Thailand started on the 11th, at 830pm. Finally got to KL Sentral station. Train leaving for HatYai was at 845. With no food yet for dinner, it was time for a call to the respective parties at McD's or KFC for dinner. Luck of the draw, McD's. So we're there waiting for the food delivery, 5 of us waiting for two peaople. The conductors are starting to blow their whistles........and train's about to leave....what do ya know, on time for once.......satu member lagi belum datang. We see her running from KFC. And so, we start rushing down the escalator to Platform 1. All 7 of us, lari lintang pukang, carrying one big backpacker bag each and then some, including plastic bags of snackage and fast food. The word on our lips is "Mana carriage 1V ni? Mana dia??! CEPAT!!!" It was an Amazing Race moment, alas, video camera belum sedia lagi! Tape pun belum load!!! We finally find our carriage at the end of the platform, the first carriage. Safe.

We then settle ourselves in for the long train ride ahead, 16 hours to be exact with minimal stops. It's suppose to be direct. I've never ridden a train long haul locally before, let alone with with bunks. So the entire crew, rank 7 in total. The rundown is, me, Alfred, Syat, Tapai, Modi, Iedil and Skin. Iedil soon rounds the number off to lucky eight though, our "liaison officer", Iedil, is fast at work with a Japanese Korean chick doing a soul search round the world trip, and Yuki or Martina soon joins our ranks. I soon find myself nodding off for the night at 11pm. It's been a long day.

When I awake the next morning, it's 945 and we're in the Rice Bowl of Malaysia, Kedah. Syat tells me the trains running behind. Surprise surprise. Our ETA in HatYai was suppose to be 1045, we're seriously behind schedule. It only gets worse from here on out. By the time, we get to the Immigration check point at Padag Besar, it's already noon. And after we finish with imigration, we find that KTM feels this sudden and intense need to change carriages. In true local institution fashion, it takes them one and a half hours to do so. By the time we leave, it's roughly 130pm. From here. it's a 45 minute train ride to HatYai. With no stops on the way, we should make good time.

Hatyai
We arrive in HatYai at 230(local time) with our gang of 8 and all our bags, we squeeze into a TukTuk and head to the bus station to catch transportation to Krabi. We're taken to a travel agent opposite the bus station who offers us an exorbitant price to charter us a mini van to Krabi, our TuTuk guys tells us he can get us a better rate else where. By the end of this escapade, we pay 320 baht per pax for a 4 hour journey to Krabi. I slept most of the way there, and managed to finish watching Wristcutter: A Love Story. On the way we stop at a tourist trap for some lunch. The curries and gulai's were really spicy, nothing better than that to say "Welcome to Thailand" to your stomach.

Krabi
We get to our hotel wiht not much trouble, the ussual, a local travel agent trying to sell us transportation back to HatYai, before we've even stepped foot on Krabi soil. Passing a Outlet Village on our way in, I'm definitely going to try and stop by before we leave. We reach our guesthouse, Good Dream Guest house at roughly 8pm. After dumping our bags and getting showers, we decide to head off to Ao Nang Beach for some seafood dinner. The drive to Ao Nang from Krabi takes roughly 45 minutes. We get there is a totally pimped up SUV.We try and charter him for our return trip to HatYai, he wants to charge us 6K baht, we say we'll think about. We walk around Ao Nang looking at shops and souvenirs, not quite aware of the time. We find a nice seafood place overlooking the sea. The Tom Yam is excellent, as was the squid and fish. The green curry, less so. A satisfying end to the long day we've had. A journey that started almost 24 hours ago in KL.

We head over to the beack street of Ao Nang, to try some Somsang. Basically, coke and rum in a small bucket for 200 baht. The rum is foul and the coke is thin. The last time we're trying Somsang in Krabi Iedil. The establishment offered us some boardgames, like Jenga and Connect Four. We played a few rounds of both, concurrently while Iedil and Syat struggle to finish the bucket. After that, we head back to Krabi town in motor bike TukTuks. It's past midnight and they wants 100 per pax for the trip back, we haggle down to a meager 90 baht and hunker down for the long dark, windy drive back.

Back in Krabi, Iedil wants us to check out Fu Bar, which is just behind our hostel. We go. We walk past a place called Jam Club that's playing Syat and Alfred's kinda music, Tiesto. But Iedil walks on. Only to find that Fu Bar ain't open. Iedil comments that Krabi and Ao Nang is quite quiet even for low season. With Iedil disappointed we head back to Jam Club for some drinks and good music. After Martina's had a couple of beers and a few rounds of cards, we decide to call it anight. The clock reads 330am as I fall asleep and we have an early morning tomorrow, 745 call time to try and get tickets for the 9am ferry to Phi Phi Island. It';s been a really really really long day.

Next stop, Phi Phi.

Yoga in a bottle....

While out shopping for mozzie repelent at the 'local' organic store in BSC, I came across something called Bach's Rescue Remedy. I've heard about Bach's a few times prior and thought it interesting that it now came in spray form! Har har!

Now frankly, I'm as clueless and you as to what's so miraculous about it or what it's even for, so I did the two things everyone, I would think, does when in doubt. Turn the box over and search the internet. Reading the back of the box, all I could glean was that Bach's Rescue Remedy would help you relieve stress and calm nerves. Upon closer inspection online, it seems that Bach's is made from minuscule amounts of flower extract, water and brandy.

According to Wikipedia though, "Controlled clinical studies of the remedies have generally found the flower remedies to be no more effective than a placebo."

And really, what would you expect? Bach's Rescue Remedy is made based on the science of homeopathy, which in itself is a dubious science anyway.

But of course, tons of people believe in it though. And frankly, I'm quite sure it works, coz really.......if the plant extracts doesn't....the brandy sure will!

I think I just might get meself a bottle.......never know when you're gonna need a spot of 'self-rescue'.

Finally

Ever since I was a baby girl I had a dream
Cinderella theme
Crazy as it seems
Always knew that deep inside that there would come that day
But I would have to wait
Make so many mistakes
I couldn't comprehend
As I watched it unfold
This classic story told I left it in the cold
Walking through an open door that led me back to you
Each one unlocking more of the truth

I finally stopped tripping on my youth
I finally got lost inside of you
I finally know that I needed to grow
And finally my mate has met my soul

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have our differences
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally

I remember the beginning you already knew
I acted like a fool
Just trying to be cool
Fronting like it didn't matter
I just ran away
And on another phase
Was lost in my own space
Found what its like to hurt selfishly
Scared to give of me
Afraid to just believe
I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place
Stumbled through the mess that I have made

Finally got out of my own way
I've Finally started living for today
I finally know that I needed to grow
And finally my mate has met my soul

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have a our differences
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Gave my love to him Finally

Finally, Finally

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have our differences
Something beautiful is happening, happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
It's the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally

Ohhhhhhh, Finally, Finally, finally

by Fergie


A song for my wedding. Someday.............

You gotta wonder......

Sometimes....you gotta wonder what we're all doing things for. I mean really. Sometimes, it's not like you'll be appreciated for it. It'd be even scarier if it were something you're betting your life on. But it's not to say that criticism is bad. But could it please be CONSTRUCTIVE. I don't know maybe I'm just scared. And stupid...I mean......你明知一定有人说你去看干吗 ? Sometimes it's like why go demoralise yourself further? Like life isn't a bitch already?

I swear, perhaps humans have a penchant for self punishment....I mean we do all these things that hurt ourselves intentionally.........hang out with the wrong people, read things we shouldn't bother with, why should we care?

Because we do.

YO! Sushi

I first discovered YO! Sushi when I was studying in the UK. A little shop, nestled next to a 50's diner knockofftucked into an alley, , not far from Chinatown, Leicester Square. Obviously a non-"traditional" sushi bar outfit, they served fusion and westernised sushi with of course, westernised names. Catchy but still far from authentic, and extremely pricey, by student standards....not mine tho. I only went there once or twice in my nine month stay in the British Isles.

My time in the UK has always been a period of fond memories, montaged to the soundtrack of John Mayer and just a hint of nostalgia. So imagine my delight when I discovered that YO! Sushi would be openning up outlets in KL starting with thier inaugral one in Pavilion! Now I don't have photos from my first trip to Pavilion's YO! Sushi, but I do have some from YO! Sushi Midvalley. It's located in the underpass that connects Midvalley with the Gardens. Do go check 'em out. They are albeit, a bit pricey, but thier fusion stuff is quite interesting.

I recommend, the duck salad and would stay away from the rawish beef ........not that I'm not a fan of seared beef, or was it tuna? But is was just plain weird looking.....

How I Learned to Drive.....

Right....so this is the culmination of what I've been busying myself with for the past 3 months........

THE ORAL STAGE presents

PAULA VOGEL's

HOW I LEARNED TO DRIVE

Growing up in a family with thin, penetrable personal boundaries, Li'l Bit becomes the victim of an incestuous intimacy - Uncle Peck does not only teach his teenage niece to drive, but sexualises her childhood as well.

Narrated through a series of bittersweet flashbacks, HOW I LEARNED TO DRIVE is an honest, coming-of-age account on forgiveness, healing and growth – and how one can find light even from the unhealthiest of relationships.

HOW I LEARNED TO DRIVE was first produced in 1997 in New York City and has since been awarded, in addition to the Pulitzer: the Obie, the Drama Desk Award, the New York Drama Critics Award, the Outer Circle Critics Award, and the Lucille Lortel Award.

Featuring Amelia Chen, Johann Lim, Doreen Loo, Davina Goh and Mark Beau de Silva, with Kelvin Wong as Creative Director.

Supported by Living Arts and Autodetailer.

"…one of the best plays of the decade." – USA Today

"…a tremendous achievement; genuine and genuinely disturbing." – Village Voice

*FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

SHOWDATES & TIMES
4th – 7th June 2008 @ 8.30 pm
7th – 8th June 2008 @ 3.00 pm

VENUE
The Actors Studio Bangsar Level 3,
West Wing Bangsar Shopping Centre
285, Jalan Maarof Bukit Bandaraya 59000 Kuala Lumpur

TICKETS
RM33 (Adults); RM22 (Students, senior citizens & the disabled)

TICKET CONTACT
TAS @ BSC Box Office: 03-2094 0400/1400

OUR BLOG!
http://howilearnedtodrive.blogspot.com

ON THE WEB
http://www.theoralstage.com
http://www.theactorsstudio.com.my

Founded in 2004, The Oral Stage (TOS) is an independent youth theatre company comprising of youth from all walks of life, regardless of theatre background. TOS has nurtured more than 70 individuals to date and has 5 productions under its belt, having performed in several venues around Kuala Lumpur, The Klang Valley and Penang Island. Presenting a myriad of issues pertaining to youth today, the company utilizes theatre as a significant medium that engages, evokes and entertains an audience, while channelling across the voice of Malaysian youth.

Should you require additional information regarding the production or The Oral Stage, please contact Charmayne Chung at charmayne@theoralstage.com or Melissa Loovi at melissa.publicity@theoralstage.com

COME AND WATCH!!!!

If nothing else, to watch me get groped by Johann...... this year's Cleo Bachelor No 42

Malaysian Artistes for Unity

Pass it on.....

the Shape of Things

We as human beings are the products of the people around us. So much of what we, or at least I, do is taken from the people I call 'family'. Be they bad habits or good ones, preferences, and biasness. Stuff like, where to eat; where to shop; buy flowers; do on the weekends; what drinks you prefer; wines; how you think you should be treated at restaurants; how you should be treated, period; preferred brand of cigarettes; the company you hang out with; the clothes you wear; the books you read; the music you listen to; the food you eat; the movies you watch; the kind of things you consider art; the preference for dance, music or theatre; the sports you play; the tv you watch; the list goes on.......

We are the product of the people around us. Which is not to say that it's a bad thing. And not to say that we lack individuality. And it's not to say we aren't our own person. I mean, it's the different mix of all these elements that makes us unique. A little bit of this from him, a little bit of that from her, half of that and half of that other thing. At the end of the day, it is us who decide which traits to adopt and which to not.

Lapsap & Co. @ micro

Madcap couple of months yo!

First it was Uncut Unittled Paper House, then the tour, then the AIIA goes North tour, then straight into rehearsals for How I Learned to Drive. It's been a looooong absence from Lapsap and it's great to be back......

Malaysian GE 2008

Right so with elections just around the corner.......the question is......who are you going to vote for? What will the country decide?

MalaysiaToday decided to do a 'dry run' on the elections.........they're still doing it as a matter a fact......go to the site and vote.....but the results may not be that much of a surprise.....because really......if you read MalaysiaToday, by either default or something......there's really a majority of which may you'd vote already right?

Chinese New Year

My memories of CNY are all immortalised in photographs. My main CNY memories are centred around my yearly pilgrimages down south to good old JB, just shy of Singapore. Images of having a camera going off in your face, nightly fireworks and sparklers, chowing down to minced pork stuffed fish maw in soup, as well as the obligatory trip down to MeiSan SzeChuan Restaurant in the what-used-to-be-called Holiday Inn Johor Bahru-now-called Mutiara hotel, right next to the bed of VCD/DVD vending vice Holiday Plaza. A place so notorious, it's included in guidebooks!

The day previous to the begining of all these JB CNY festivities has always been, a trip down to Mantin, just shy of Seremban. What I miss most during CNY these days is the old house and the home cooked meal, split into 3 different tables divided by age and generation. It's the food I miss the most, homecooked zha nyuk and rice wine chicken, aunts slaving the whole morning for reunion dinner. All us cousins and the rest of the family sitting around watching TV2 CNY specials and uncles playing mahjong on the back porch.

Those were the days. Now it's all done at the local nearby restaurant. Preset menus and no more mahjong and TV. Just in and out. The passing of goodies bags (a novelty started by my mother I might add!) and ang pows. It lacks that rustic nostalgia of Chinese New Years of yesteryear.

But the times are achanging and traditions need to keep up with the times too right?

2nd Day of CNY

Long gone are the days of good ang pao hauls and endless fun with fireworks......

I finally have my mother's comp all to myself for the next coupld of hours while the little ones go bvisiting with thier parents......I'm not one to...sulk and bitch...but THIS IS MY MOM'S COMP!!! Hehe...

So here I am in JB doing the yearly CNY pilgrimage...

Scratch that. They're back.......but thankfully not going to hog in on my FB time......

They're watching Nancy Drew.....which I must admit...I wanna watch too.......so bye bye blog update hello Hardy Boys! Yea right....I wish it were a Nancy Drew Hardy Boys crossover.....those were always my favourite and the only ones I ever read.

2007: Year of the Tiger

The end of 2007 has been a time of change for me.......many things have happened since, tigers came into my life....

Change started around the time I joined Miss Malaysia Chinatown International in August. Around that time, a certain young tiger was making a prowl around my parts and the poor susceptible piggie that I am. was falling hook line and sinker....which in retrospect is perhaps not the worst thing in the world. This whole tigers are good for you thing stuck home.....tho actually it started with, but you know what I mean.....when I got this free fortune necklace thingie...I got one with a tiger pendant because for me, a boar, tigers are suppose to help change your luck.....and change my luck it did....I think. Things started looking up for me. Especially in the relationship department.....and having it good there....makes me all in all a happier person.

First there was the lil' tiger, then there was Sy. A part of me still wishes that perhaps I had waited like I said I would...but hey....things happen. If it was meant to be....it'll come around again. It did for Donald. And of course now, there's Al. (que warm fuzzies)

So yea. A tiger changed my life. Cheers to the Year of the Pig, bid it adiue. Coz a new year is born and it's the Year of the Rat.

All hail Mickey Mouse.

Endings

I should really be sleeping but just wanna take this opportunity to pen some random thoughts down.

Artificially Imtelligent was off to the rocky start on Thursday, thing only kinda got worse on Friday...but thing picked up today......Sat night's show was the best yet@ Too bad we're only running for the week. Perhaps also it's insha'allah also......short and sweet. Tomorrow's the last show.

I just bought a new digi SRL yesterday too...body only tho, Nikon D70s...........Nick C and I are gonna sit down and have a pow wow about the kind of lenses would suit my needs.....

And I just realised that I'm almost going to miss the deadline for the MediaCorp Auditions. Thank goddess I'm looking at it now!

WTF

Was in the middle of a quest in GW just now....a freaking long wan somemore, the first in Cantha.....half way through and what the fuck happens?? The comp restarts itself on me.........I'm like....wait...I just got my ass owned in GW.....my health and mana level's are down by 58% but enough of my team is stil alive to keep on fighting the good fight and some dude who doesn't know his freaking comp number and decides to pull a fast one on the cyber caf decides to random my comp number?!!!!

Last time I play GW in a caf.......takes too much energy to calm the fuck down.

The Ties That Bind

Life, to me at least, is all about relationships. It's about the people you meet and people you keep company with. People come and go....the real friends, the trues ones, will always come back. Will always be there. For those of you who know who you are, I thank you for being there and giving me a chance to redeem myself. And for those of you who don't. I thank you too for giving me another chance.

I just got back from a little drinking sesh for Helena's birthday. I haven't really been the best of friends to her for a bit. But I hope to change all that. Same goes for my lil' Nicky. I love you like a brotherlah bro......no matter how much you annoy me, you still got a place in herelah babe. Just gimme some time yo! Haha...

But yea. Realtionships, with my friends, my other half, my family, the people around me, are important to me. Life, is the relationships you have with the world around you and the people in it.

Spread the Joy

Here are just a couple of web comics Yu Han and Alfred got me hooked on while working at The Curve...

For those army enthuses amongst you.....the slowest updated comic on the web......
Gone with the Blastwave - http://www.blastwavecomic.com/index.php?p=comic&nro=1

For the gamers amongst you.......
Ctrl+Alt+Del - http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/index.php

Enjoy!

New Years Resolution

Right...so New Years Resolutions.......only 25 days late...it's alright..it's still the first month...

I don't actually believe in making resolutions......but I have no idea what else to call them.....

Basically here's a list of things, I'd like to....achieve? aim for? include? in my life in the year and years to come....

1. Photograph more
I'm going to be one of those people who bring cameras every where they go. I feel that my life needs to be documented more......I mean, you're only young and this good looking once....sometimes...... ; ]

2. Write more
Both here on the blog and in real life.....actually getting around to finishing everything I start. Perhaps even dabble in a bit of editorial work. Coz really...even if I can't write a good article...I really think I can vet work really well.

3. Do more
Just get off my ass and do more things. I want to act? Go out on a limb and go for castings and auditions. I wanna dabble in retail? Go out and just do it. Wanna make a movie? Just get the people together and Nike! Coz there's no use just sitting there and waiting for stuff to happen. Make things happen. God helps those who help themselves, and I'm gonna help myself to a whole load of life.

So yea......that's basically it....I might just come back during the course of the week and add more stuff.....but that is basically it......resolutions. My To-Do list of this year...and perhaps even the rest of my life.

Step 1: Always carry a camera and buy that 2nd hand SLR.
Step 2: Dedicate time everyday to writing.
Step 3: Just get out of the house and be more involved in the world.....have you registered to vote?

ps: one of the reasons I'm so inspired is coz Alfred just got a copy of this month's Klue and guess who's got a 5 page spread? Heck if she can do it......so can I!

pps: note to self.....stop reading ppl's blog archives.......it can be hazardous to health...but really I don't know which is more painful.....said person having a Cartier Trinity Ring......or said person calling rose(red) gold, brass.........*knife thru the heart, knife thru the heart*
(she has the one...wihtout the diamonds...the classic.....I want........)

Readings and New Works

Just came back from the reading of Instant Cafe's reading of Hero. It was a......enlightening experience. I've never really been for readings....mainly coz it usually clashes with my schedule for some odd reason so it was nice to finally make it to one. The script itself was quite strong. Tho a bit draggy in parts.....whether because of the actor or the script itself, I don't know. I thought, the mother character lacked a personal journey or character development, and certain elements that were brought up never truly explored. But this is still a work in progress so there's still room for improvement.

Also happening this weekend, was News for You, brought all the way down from Penang.......I have to say I was rather dubious about this show....so opted to join my friends for a mad cap trip up to Genting instead of watching it. I think perhaps my decision the right one....especially when Farah was critical about it. Not to say anything about Squinty but if she's complaining...then well.......yea. I'd probably have killed myself....... And the premise....was supposedly a good one too. I mean Alfred was interested......and I would be too I suppose if I weren't put off by the poster..and the group calling themselves The Ministry of Truth........really?????!!!!!

What is it with young'uns and their delusions of grandeur? Noobs always seem to have this wide eyed invincibility thing going on. I know what this fancy theatre term or this grand concept mean let's make this play or talk about this theme or do this style........it's like this nothing can touch me I know it all and best attitude.....I'll be the first to admit, when I first started out. I shared these...."delusions"...okay thoughts myself........pretentious enough to believe that just because I know what it is I can do it.......but there's always a difference.....between doing it...and doing it well....this pretentiousness can be.....annoying...

Take JH for example....the only reason I didn't go for the audition was because the audition notice was pretentious enough to go, we only want serious actors because of the material involved......REALLY????? I haven't seen it yet...but well......I haven't exactly heard incredibly wonderful things about it.......except for the cinematography which I hear is close to stunning....definite eye candy........but support Malaysian we must! Especially noteworthy ones. I hear that the director at least, has taken a step into the right direction. If all else can match up to his cinematic sight, then perhaps a prolific filmmaker he shall make. We'll just have to wait, and see.

Aside from all this....earlier this month, the 7th to be exact, KLPac had it's newest monthly offering, The Platform. An avenue for theatre noobs to take their stab at theatrical writing and acting. Write your own 15 minute short play, stage it at The Platform and stand a chance to participate in a grand old theatrical experiment next year! The aim is to unearth new talent. A wonderful and commendable venture. Zedeck 'Tembak'ed it.....to not so rave comments....But I have to say...I agree with him at some points. I had people coming up to me saying the piece on domestic abuse was so good and so brave. But like Z I could see it a mile coming and had wished she'd tackled the issue in some other way without resorting to the usual histrionics. The second piece goes without saying..... The third piece tho, is exactly what I mean by noob theatrical bravado. That, let's try being surrealist, coz it seems cool. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, heavens no. I think all of us who've done theatre for so long have been there before. Some of us have moved on to being cynics who've given into commercialism, some gallantly still try with marginal success, while others just don't know when to quit. I, am a partial cynic. I look at them and wish I were back where they are. Wide eyed and naive.


Sometimes tho, sometimes, on a big bright clear blue sky-ed day I am.

Johanna

I feel you,
Johanna.
I feel you.
I was half-convinced I'd waken.
Satisfied enough to dream you,
happily I was mistaken,
Johanna.
I'll steal you,
Johanna,
I'll steal you.
Do they think that walls can hide you?
Even now I'm at your window...
I am in the dark beside you,
buried sweetly in your yellow hair!
I feel you,
Johanna!
And one day,
I'll steal you!
'Til I'm with you then,
I'm with you there...
sweetly buried in your yellow hair!

- Antony taken from Sweeney Todd - The Muscial

Retrospect 2007

Another year has come to a close.....despite my previous post...or is it in spite? Things have changed in my life.

2007 was a year of change.

In 2007...

I became an adult. I finished college and started 'working'. I registered to vote. I started caring about what our country is coming to and participated in the efforts to try and change it. I became more involved in my industry. I took responsibility. I grew up. I made friends and lost some. I took leaps of faith. I experienced new things. I hurt others. I hurt myself. I let go.