Eden Tradition

Tak tau kenapa, tapi.....whenever it comes to celebratory dinners....the place to go for the family....still remains to be Eden.....and almost without fail, I'll order the Lobster Thermidore.....despite my dislike for things creamy.......it's like tradition kan?

Week of Justin....

I thought I'd be seeing a lot of Fai this week....what with meeting up with him on Monday...then maybe dropping by to see him model at Zouk tomorrow, then seeing him at the 50 Gorgeous Paty this Sat.....not to mention maybe dropping by his show earlier tonight.......but nope.....since I stayed out 'late'(midnight!!! only!!!) tonight.....I 'can't' (read shouldn't) stay out late tomorrow.....and since I didn't eventually go see him tonight...it's down to 2 Justin sightings......but then I could just drop by his place on Friday to get music from him....so it'd just up the Justin met-o-meter to 3........

Now why the sudden good girl act? The parental unit has rolled into town...just as a plethora of Twilight Action Girl and Lapsap events kicks itself into high gear.......damnit!.....then thank goodness I wasted my Masquerade Party tickets and didn't go tonight huh........jeez....and how am I suppose to see Z tomorrow to get my stuff back...have to drop by Annexelah now.........or is it just an excuse.....do I really want to go? I don't know.....It seems in my Facebook events, I had listed it as a 'Maybe Attending'......so perhaps I had originally found the premise interesting....I don't know...but I told Z I wasn't going...but that was before coming home late today and after the parental unit making noise about this girl being abducted while on her way to work in Glenmarie and telling me not to stay out so late........

But really......if the girl's being abducted in broad daylight....does it matter what time I go out or come back?

But speaking of Fai...it reminds me...I need to looks for a commissioner of oaths for him....eh EuGene, SS2 / our area got Commissioner of oaths ar?

Work......?

Finally......went for casting today.....I just decided to do it.....dragged woke myself up in the 'morning'....checked email and facebook, dragged myself away from cyberspace......slapped on some makeup.......and got my ass over to Cheese......Steven..I think that's his name...the boss.....still remembers me from last time...like 6 years ago.....well....recognizes maybe not exactly remember....but hey...how to forget a face like mine? A pure chinese who looks like a mat salleh celup? can you use that for chinese? Anyways...so hopefully work will start coming in soon......fingers crossed....

So anyways.....after the casting...the issue of my cina-purebred-yet-mat-salleh-celup looks stuck with me...as is always the case since every photog who takes my photo can never resist asking...."You mixed ar?" ........it made me think about giving more of an identity to my rock star alter-ego, Layla........I've decided to make her Japanese German......and fully name her...either Layla Satoshi, as a nod back to my chinese name....or Layla Fuyu, a reference to winter which I thought great at the time...but in retrospect...not so great....Japanese German....do you think I could pull it off? I think so....I've got the Japanese one down pat...they say that already...slap on some coloured contacts and we just might be able to convince 'em on the Germanic heritage too....

In other news.....I watched a local film today....and I felt like walking out half way and perhaps even eating my own arm to just keep from shouting at the f-ing screen........I went to watch Orang Minyak.....which stars one of my junior from DPA, Sharifah Sofia......Sofia, Sofia, Sofia....KENAPA??!!!!! WHY??!!! Tuk cari makan....please say untuk cari makan....coz it was a shit as film! The sound guy should either be sacked or one should be ihred coz the entire film was voice-overed....the DOP(director of photography) or cameraman should stop fiddling with the aperture of the camera during close-up and mid-shots like he's wanking off....it's either that or he's just telling us that the wall and the extras are more interesting than what's going on in the story, which is true coz I have never had to listen to so much contrived shit dialogue in a long long time........kalau bukan untuk Sofia........gawd help me......Kenapa I put myself through shit like that??!!! Alhamdulillah that I actually make it a point for my dialogue to make sense...as boring as they perhaps may be......My gawd.....is this the state of Malaysian cinema? Stories and dialogues that don't make sense and too many jump cuts...not to mention the unbelievably lack on continuity and production design that makes sense.......I know you cannot show/film a butt naked man in a Malay film...tapi in one frame your orang minyak is in a body suit and the next he's in 3/4 pants??? ARE YOU STUPID? OR DO YOU THINK YOU'RE AUDIENCE IS???

And also in the realm of cinema....30 Days of Night was not as bad as I feared it might be.....heck as far as films on this genre goes....it's was better than Skinwalkers and Blood & Chocolate. Skinwalkers now there was a whole load of crap......

Strange intoxicated nights.....

Been spending a lot of time at Palate Palette lately.....went for my first Lapsap party a couple of weeks ago after Wayang Kata.........then dropped by their Sunday BBQ and Junkyard Sale thing on Sunday....not to mention popping in to see Mal when I was at No Black Tie for Indie Brew........then went for my second Lapsap last night......and then, am right now contemplating dropping by there in a bit for some food before going to see Joy's show at the Annexe.

Lapsap Parties....for me....involve copius amounts of alcohol...which makes for very intoxicated nights....I had fun last night....more fun than I'd had in quite a while.....Then I again...I went there well prepared...stocked up on carbs at Kiku-Zakura while dinner-ing with Ron before watching a flick then heading off to Lapsap.....I think Nur was right when she said, you're never alone at these things.....well coz she's there...plus I knew for a fact Dav Chin and his Far would be there...Mal was a disappointing no show......plus I was there with Ron! so yea.....it was crazy dancing and yummy yummy alcohol.....Girls will like the Bellini Martini and Strawberry Daiquiri (it's frozen!)

And since I'm there so often, here's a Palate Palette plug for this Sunday for good measure....

Bring Your Pet this Sunday (25 Nov)!

On the last Sunday of every month, rain or shine, we welcome all pets…dogs, hamsters, goldfishes, snakes, turtles, parrots… Let them play, but hopefully they don’t bite! J

Whether you want new friends for your pets, or you want to compare notes with (or chat up) other pet owners, or you just can’t bear to part with them, just come!

Collared pets get a free special-personalized-handmade-leather-name-tag from us while stocks last! You can also check out other leather accesories for you and your pet crafted by the fabulous ThirtyFour (www.thirtyfour.net) here on Sunday!

Plus, it’s also Happy Hours ALL DAY Sunday!

So see you soon!

Pets are always welcome outside during regular times. Owners are responsible for their own pets. If your pet eats someone else’s pet, it’s not our fault! We also love all. Pet-less people welcome.

Palate Palette Restaurant & Bar
21 Jalan Mesui, off Jalan Nagasari, 50200 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
T : +603 2142 2148 F : +603 2143 2148 www.palatepalette.com

We are open 12pm – 12am, Fri + Sat until 2am J We close on Mondays L

Looooooong HAPPY HOURS… 12pm – 8pm everyday and ALL DAY Sunday!

Lunch with Mark...

Lunch with Mark is always......a thought provoking, slightly irksome and highly philosophical experience.......It is disturbing how he always manages to make me question my choices in life.....

It's really a wonder why I let him....when usually, I just dismiss people who make me feel bad about myself.......

It's diabolical.....it's Mark......

Perhaps it's just that I know he's ragging on me only because he cares.......I hope......hahaha

Perfect

What do I really need in life....

What's the question that's just popped into my head and I steeled myself for an obligatory "let's-try-and-keep-this-blog-alive" post while sorting thru what Grey's Anatomy picture to out on my Addicted to Grey's Anatomy box on my Facebook profile......

But really.....that is an existentialist like question...and we all know how much I love to sound like an intellectual.........

What do I really need in life......

Okay...perhaps need isn't really the best thing......coz...I mean.....it's really simple,,,straight forward.... everyone needs to be loved, a roof over their heads, and an endless suply of sustenance......

So okay....let me rephrase that for my, not to thinking person existentialist wanna be brain that it is....

What do I really want? In life......out of it......what do I really want.....

It'd be all just fine and dandy to say I want Someone.....but do I really? Why? Do I really want him? Just because he's tall, cute, smart, sarcastic, intellectual and wounded? Yes....wounded...it's like every anime/idol-drama fan's prereq for the guy of your dreams..get a clue...go watch Meteor Garden.... Just because I've developed this emotional connection based on the sparse amount of time I've spent with him? Just because he's was there and seemed to have wanted something of me? Just because I've someone how come I think of him as perfect?

I'm with You

I'm With You
Avril Lavigne

I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin’ in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There’s nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there’s no sound

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
But I... I'm with you

I’m looking for a place
Searching for a face
Is anybody here i know
Cause nothings going right
And everything’s a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin’ to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
but I... I'm with you

Oh why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
But I... I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don’t know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

Self-Sabotage and the Existentialist

I think therefore I am.......

Why do I keep doing this to myself? Sabotaging relationships....it's really no wonder I haven't got a love life......it's like a self fulfilling prophesy...I'm just like subconsciously so set in my ways that I just sabotage and pre-empt all attempts by goddess to hook me up. I screw everything up before anything can even happen....Perhaps Terrence was right...a part of me is scared shitless...not his words exactly but you get my drift....

I think therefore I am....... I think therefore it is......I think how could Z ever truly like someone like me? It happens......How could J ever fall in love with me...it happens.....I'm sure to end up alone....it happens......I think therefore, I am.......

Politicians say the darndest things.....

Apathy - The Death of a Nation

Apathy will be the death of the nation and not the state of the govt as we know it. The lack of involvement by the people of today will ensure that the current power mongers stay in power well into our deaths.

Sure, they might not drive the country literally to it's graves but where's freedom and where is democracy? Where is the power to say what you want against anybody, in the face of their stupidity? Do we really need anymore white elephants and space flight participants?

I was at BERSIH Rally yesterday....and just for the information of the people who've seen the stuff on TV or heard rumours of a riot........it was just a walk....a march if you will....tear gas was sprayed on the crowd...but only the crowd at Masjid Jamek....and guess what?? THEY WERE PEACEFUL.....I wasn't there,I was with the group leaving from Central Market(and damnit....all I got was rain!!)......but the Al Jazeera reporter was..........

Just check out the video......especially when Hamish goes......."this was until a few mintues ago...AN ENTIRELY PEACEFUL PROTEST"....now I don't know about you...but if I got sprayed with a shitload of teargas-laced chemicals...I'd be pissed off too....but they didn't cause a riot anyway.......they just marched on..........

Rest

For some unknown reason. I have this sudden need to...get away from it all....spend the last of my hard earned cash on a spa getaway and abso-fuckin-lutely paper myself.......trouble is...I'd prolly get bored on the second day...well....maybe not but I'd be pretty worried about blowing all that moolah....

But really, I don't know why? Heaven knows I just got back from Singapore, tho the trip wasn't what I would call relaxing......the total bereft-ness of a tv in my hotel room is enough to stress me out right there.....but I digress.....

Perhaps it's the fact that I have a schedule now........Jap classes and rehearsals every Tuesday and Thursday....it basically locks up the entire day....coz by the time I drag myself out of bed, it's already 11-12......get ready for class....then makan after class......potter around for a bit, but i'm ussually too zonked out to potter.....so I veg, which induces more laziness and general bleghness....then it's off to rehearsals...which there seems to be an unsettling recurring pattern but let's not rant......so that leaves the weekend and odd days free....but with so many invites to stuff...and potential gatherings....it's a bit dizzy- and tire-making....with little time to recoup.....so....urgh.....

But that's life after college.......and I'm not even working a 9-5...I'm being more of a socialite than anything else.......it's tiring business this!! Hahaha.........

I don't knowlah....just feel lethargic....and it's not like I can like rest coz it's Deepavali tom.....coz....I'VE GOT SHOOT TOMORROW!!! YAY! A shoot which I'm not getting paid for...usually it's not really an issue...but it's beginning to become one coz I do so many freebies....there's getting your name out there and there's starving........tho I'm far from starving, I can't expect to live of my parental units' money for the rest of my life no??

So yea.....I've decided to go to casting agencies.......and get Fai to check if I can get an audition with Red FM.......fingers crossed.......just hope they don't make me sign a 6-month contract, but if that's what they're offering Fai.....Hhmm..........

And sejak bila I mula panggil dia Fai ni?- Oh Sejak I got snapped out of delusions of grandeur.....

And since the fireworks have started in Kampung Cempaka.......HAPPY DIWALI PEEPS!

Radical Honesty

Am currently reading the fourth and totally 'unexpected' fourth book in Scott Westerfeld's Uglies trilogy....hence the 'unexpected' bit....but anyways.....in it, one of the characters, Frizz Mizuno, started a clique within the 'current' Uglies society called Radical Honesty. What Radical Honesty is, is basically honesty to the extreme Uglies style...aka you get a brain surge(surgery) that instead of making you bubbleheaded(blonde), it renders you incapable of lying.

Now there's a novel.....tho fictitious...and to a certain degree wise and noble concept....the inability to lie. It takes a brave soul to be able to do that to yourself....and stick with it, I mean.....I don't know how it's boding in the book, coz I've yet to finish it...but.......but as far as I've read, it has a far more worse effect on the non-brain-surged...I mean...how do you relate to a person who can't lie or even truth-slant(bend the truth)? Some part of you will assume that you too should be absolutely honest.

And...I'm quite taken with the idea of Radical Honesty.......especially when it comes to my non-existent love life.....I have this thing.......of telling people how I feel......Mai has called it bravery...I am sometimes tempted to call it emotional suicide.......but all the same Radical Honesty has got me thinking.....perhaps, in my next interaction with Someone, I should just practice Radical Honesty? And be absolutely frank and up front and incredibly blunt and tactless about what we are and how I feel. It'd save(or add??) me a whole lot of grief and hopefully drag Someone down with me.....

edit: actually tactlessness is already considered a character trait since I'm a Sagittarius and in reality, there's actually really something called Radical Honesty.......do you know that Scott??

What am I doing?!

I've recently began this little wanting to do more.....art binge....

I'd been toying with the idea of starting to do some painting and after Wayang Kata even ventured to think about writing poetry.....was even gonna go all out and buy another Moleskin notepad, specially for poetry, and books with poems by Pablo Neruda, Miguel Pinero and Chairil Anwar...not to mention finally finish reading my copy of Rimbaud's A Season in Hell. And all that on top of writing that film noir trilogy and the slasher flick.......

The screenwriting I understand...I was into that on my own....but the painting and the poetry....that's a bit on iffy ground.....I get the feeling that one of reasons I want to do it....is to just get someone to notice me......which...is sad.....

But it's not like I don't like painting...the idea of painting intrigues me...but walking through the art flea market at the Annexe this morning.....made me realise that......even if I did paint.....I have no message. And Someone......is all about messages...... which goes on into poetry......which I'd kind of already decided....wasn't my thing back in Creative Writing class with Bernice......the kind of thing I write poetry about....it's all...personal...all me, me me, me, me.........and usual, emo me..........which would of course....ultimately mean that I'd be writing poetry about Someone, for Someone, hoping that Someone would notice me.........now that's sad....and just a teeny tiny bit pathetic....yea right teeny tiny......same goes for performing on stage really....and I don't even know if that'd work......

Coz you see.....to me......站在舞台上的男人是最有魅力.....well, those who really...the stage,or whatever their medium, is their element.....people like rockstars and actors.....YiDa, NLD, JGL, Christian Bale......you know what I mean....... So to me....that is the way to catch someone's eye...be in your element...and the stage...I'd like to believe is my element.....acting is my element......

But all this is a lot of mention of me...me being selfish...it's all about me...and the ironic..is that the right word? .....the whatever thing is......Someone seems to be all about the world.....society...it's scary when we do talk...I mostly have nothing to say...I'm in awe...which is probably a bad thing.......but yea...I'm in awe.....all these ideas and thoughts about the world...and here I am little pathetic ol' me....just trying to get Someone to notice me......to like me....to....anything! me.......well not anything....anything nice........

I just think that's all rather pathetic.........I can see it for what it is...yet.......perfectly willing to get hurt.......I've said it before and I'll say it again...I'm an emotional masochist........it's what I do....it stems from watching too many idol dramas and penchant for tragic bittersweet love stories....it's I Believe........

It's "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

What I did Today.....

Okay...so this is going to be a rather boring post.......for me anyways....

It's basically me...trying to wax lyrical about what I did today and the story state I find my affairs in at the moment......

So what did I do today?

Well, after finally dragging myself out of bed at like 10ish-11ish, had decided the night before, heck the entire weekend...to drop by Arts4Grabs happening at the Annexe this weekend....But I came online and discovered an event notice on Nick's new band, Three Infinity, having an Open Mic thing at Laundry at 2.....by this time it was already like 1-ish....so decided to check out NLD's new sound. So I hauled ass to the Curve. Only to get there and see Laundry looking very much....CLOSED.....Well the chairs were still stacked up outside and the shutters seemed to still be firmly attached to the ground...soo.....I'm a bit...WTF??! Unless there's another Laundry somewhere in another The Curve...but I doubt it.........so really wtf??!!

Nvm I thought....slightly cheesed off til a sign and a booth that said The Masquerade caught my eye....still slightly groggy and in need of a healthy...or perhaps hugely unhealthy dose of real life fantasy...parted with RM100 for 2 tickets to this masked shindig happening at Zouk come 26th of Nov.....have no idea who I'm taking...so I'm basically thinking I'm f*cked.

So while I was there at The Curve..I decided to catch up on a movie.....seeing that this Korean movie I've been meaning to catch was still on....I grabbed a ticket for a 535 show...the only screening left....the clock read 3pm so I hightailed it outta there and onwards to the Central Market Annexe!

At the Annexe....I bumped into a few familiar faces....had a career oriented talk with Sandra's husband.....got 'suckered' into being a flower(mascot) for Seng Tat's movie premiere on Wednesday....and bought some...'art'......which isn't really what you'd call art in like the punter sense.....art as in paintings...tho I was tempted to buy a piece but thought the better of it...coz...it's really not something I'd like to stare at for years on end......I end up buying a couple of Sabahan made beaded accessories, a "I heart KL" T-shirt and a couple of print-outs of Malaysian ghost - the pontianak and langsuir...naturally.......Was tempted to get a tee shirt for Kenny.....a porn inspired one.....but since it wasn't really his style...and he sounded weird about it on the phone...I decided...against it... plus it was RM 35 and I kinda thought I'd spent enough already at that point.... the clock struck 445 so I had to rush back to Mutiara Damansara to catch my movie...

On the way there...I did the most Mai of all things....I was already rushing at it is....afraid I'd miss I'd be late.....my mind went on auto pilot at some point and instead of taking the Penchala Link..I wound up on my way to Sentul...thanksfully I took a back road back to Hartamas and took the Penchala Link......I was still late of the movie......and I still hadn't eaten anything all day and didn't even have time to buy food......

I finished the movie...it was okay....then I came acros a little stall set up by this free chinese lifestyle mag called Spotlite.....I'd seen then at Cineleisure before....the last time was for their own private screening of Stardust for their readers......they were pluggin thier subscription again.....and since they gave you like loads of previews...I signed up for a year! Despite the fcat that I'd prolly be heading over to Taiwan in March!....tho there may be some changes on that front...again....but more on that later.....after that.....I finally headed over to Tony Roma's for some much needed sustenance....

There.......they gave lil' ol' singular me....a huge ass booth...in full view of practically everyone in the restaurant....but I took it anyway...I don't mind...it's comfy! At the end of my meal, I noticed Derek, Fai's friend sitting at a table in front of mine and he noticed me too....so I popped on over to say hi.......but left promptly after.......

So yea....that's my day.......goodnight!

Cynicism and the art of romance....

Would it be considered cynicism if I'd rather have Mr Right Now over Mr Right, right now?

Coz the wait for Mr Right is getting a little long and arduous at the moment and with my recent fling debacle which I will conveniently pin on a well meaning friend..........screw Mr Right and bloody long term relationships......this girl just wants something....right now!

Partly I blame my impulsiveness for my fling setback......but on the other end of the spectrum.....it was probably...for the best.....NOT. Well...not right now at least.......No......who am I kidding.....I've lost one of the rare good moments in my life.......jesus...and all for what? A well meaning friend and cupcakes......jesus......Sorry Lord.....

Oh gawd do I feel stupid....and like shit........this blows........