Not that I want to flaunt it into anyone's face....far from it...but it's just an observation on my life....
But everytime I get into a relationship.......the cherry blossoms come in full bloom and tons of other guys finally decide to get onto the "Let's ask Amelia out" bandwagon....and usually...painfully......sadly......a couple of days too late.....GET WIT THE PROGRAM! ACT FAST!
Friday 28 December 2007
Thursday 27 December 2007
It Was A Very Good Year.....
Frankie
When I was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
We'd hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen
When I was twenty-one
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for city girls
Who lived up the stair
With all that perfumed hair
And it came undone
When I was twenty-one
When I was thirty-five
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls
Of independent means
We'd ride in limousines
Their chauffeurs would drive
When I was thirty-five
But now the days grow short
I'm in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine
From fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year
It was a mess of good years
Happy New Year everyone! Hope you had a good one. Happy 2008 to come.
When I was seventeen
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for small town girls
And soft summer nights
We'd hide from the lights
On the village green
When I was seventeen
When I was twenty-one
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for city girls
Who lived up the stair
With all that perfumed hair
And it came undone
When I was twenty-one
When I was thirty-five
It was a very good year
It was a very good year for blue-blooded girls
Of independent means
We'd ride in limousines
Their chauffeurs would drive
When I was thirty-five
But now the days grow short
I'm in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine
From fine old kegs
From the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year
It was a mess of good years
Happy New Year everyone! Hope you had a good one. Happy 2008 to come.
Saturday 22 December 2007
SM Town Audition downer....
Right...SM Entertainment...the lovely people who gave you BOA, Dong Bang Shen Ki and KangTa...were in town yesterday to hold their global auditions...
Needless to say...lie a good little starlet wanna be...I went......waited for 3 hours....and was late for work....Thankfully the lovely and ever compassionate Queen Leen was there to help me out and be Santa Rina for a day........I LOVE YOU SHER LEEN!!!
And needless to say since I'm not jumping of furniture........I didn't get in.......I'm not going to go..."but it was so short!" coz that's hog wash to a certain extent.......I'm just not what they are looking for......I don't have what they consitute as 'star quality'.
But does that mean I'll give up? HECK NO! There's still Taiwan.........and if not, the westerns.....Singapore and finally.....Malaysia.........
It's just....too bad my mom won't be able to point at a photo of her and KangTa and say...."Oh, my daughter is KangTa's 师妹。 "
Coz my mom thought KangTa was cute....which is surprising since she thinks F4 are so 'gay'.....gay as in look like girls.....but she does know what gay means......
Anyways.....c'est la vie.......it's their loss.........coz I'm going to be a super star......
I have to.....
Coz it's the only thing, I've got.
Needless to say...lie a good little starlet wanna be...I went......waited for 3 hours....and was late for work....Thankfully the lovely and ever compassionate Queen Leen was there to help me out and be Santa Rina for a day........I LOVE YOU SHER LEEN!!!
And needless to say since I'm not jumping of furniture........I didn't get in.......I'm not going to go..."but it was so short!" coz that's hog wash to a certain extent.......I'm just not what they are looking for......I don't have what they consitute as 'star quality'.
But does that mean I'll give up? HECK NO! There's still Taiwan.........and if not, the westerns.....Singapore and finally.....Malaysia.........
It's just....too bad my mom won't be able to point at a photo of her and KangTa and say...."Oh, my daughter is KangTa's 师妹。 "
Coz my mom thought KangTa was cute....which is surprising since she thinks F4 are so 'gay'.....gay as in look like girls.....but she does know what gay means......
Anyways.....c'est la vie.......it's their loss.........coz I'm going to be a super star......
I have to.....
Coz it's the only thing, I've got.
Thursday 20 December 2007
Streak
I'm on a roll......finally getting into the groove of consistently updating my blog...woohoo!
20 days into the birthday month and I'm up by 14 posts....alright.......and all this despite the insane job and daily insanity/drama of life......
Just finished baking cupcakes...choco brownie cupcakes...hope they're edible...the eggs were a bit...old......but they looked okay...and...oh I didn't smell them...but they should be fine....I swear they are!!
The Shirt's Christmas Party / Winter Solstice Gathering at mine is this Sat......Alyson's coming over Friday to make desserts.....Exchanging mystery gifts by Secret Santas and getting absolutely plastered playing Sos Chocolat.....
Going for SM Entertainment's Global Audition tomorrow.......wish me luck.......going to watch The Illusion tomorrow.......hopefully I'll be able to flee work in time........
Work's inane...but it's alright.......
Life is.
ps: Sorry if the term Shirts offends you guys...just lemme know........I say that coz well......most of you work in shirts and from 9-5!!!
20 days into the birthday month and I'm up by 14 posts....alright.......and all this despite the insane job and daily insanity/drama of life......
Just finished baking cupcakes...choco brownie cupcakes...hope they're edible...the eggs were a bit...old......but they looked okay...and...oh I didn't smell them...but they should be fine....I swear they are!!
The Shirt's Christmas Party / Winter Solstice Gathering at mine is this Sat......Alyson's coming over Friday to make desserts.....Exchanging mystery gifts by Secret Santas and getting absolutely plastered playing Sos Chocolat.....
Going for SM Entertainment's Global Audition tomorrow.......wish me luck.......going to watch The Illusion tomorrow.......hopefully I'll be able to flee work in time........
Work's inane...but it's alright.......
Life is.
ps: Sorry if the term Shirts offends you guys...just lemme know........I say that coz well......most of you work in shirts and from 9-5!!!
Wednesday 19 December 2007
Of Wrenches and Benefactors.....
Right.......new revelations regarding Jom Improv is putting major gum into my plans for Joseph Gordon-Levitt stalking and Rufus Sewell drooling come Jan. As in possible, no go status. Mai hasn't gotten back to me about changing plans...but I don't think she can do it.......ARGH! Somehow I'm tempted to go all conspiracy theory on this one.....but let's not......
I REALLY WANT TO GO TO NEW YORK!!!! PLEASE GODDESS PLEASE!!!! I BEG YOU!!!!! LET ME GO!!!!!!!!! LET. ME. GO!!!!!!!
And speaking of gumming the works....I seem to be the wrench in someone else's works.......or at least, an unforeseen outlier......again....it could be paranoia or me just being perasan.....but hey...it's a nice change from being the "Emma" all the time......
I just have no idea why...but I seem to have this knack.......of match making.....people around me couple up with other people around me.....as is the case with NLD and the chocolate one......and there's the one at work......with frequent antagonist.......chance encounters aren't even beyond my powers! That is my super power Alf.......eck.....
I REALLY WANT TO GO TO NEW YORK!!!! PLEASE GODDESS PLEASE!!!! I BEG YOU!!!!! LET ME GO!!!!!!!!! LET. ME. GO!!!!!!!
And speaking of gumming the works....I seem to be the wrench in someone else's works.......or at least, an unforeseen outlier......again....it could be paranoia or me just being perasan.....but hey...it's a nice change from being the "Emma" all the time......
I just have no idea why...but I seem to have this knack.......of match making.....people around me couple up with other people around me.....as is the case with NLD and the chocolate one......and there's the one at work......with frequent antagonist.......chance encounters aren't even beyond my powers! That is my super power Alf.......eck.....
Sunday 16 December 2007
Snooze Button on Life....
Doing events ain't all it's cracked up to be...the hours are insane so thank goodness the pay is half decent but as my mom pointed out on the phone in her attempt to try and convince me not to go.....my NY flight alone will take up the entire amount and then some...and with my spending habits....I'd be in debt before I even spend the night in New York City......
Right now my life's wake up and try to get to work 'on time'.......wait and surf the net and talk BS till 645pm(weekdays), get dressed in Santa Rina costume that is wwaaayyyy too short for me.....prance around and terrorise giggly condescending teenagers for an hour....get out of Santa Rina outfit.....emcee if Alfred's not there.......and sit there till 10pm.........I can feel my brain cells rotting from lack of stimuli and restful sleep......
Just as my life was hitting cruise.....it's forced into hibernation by gawd knows what impulse.......
Actually....I do know.....A fortune teller or some online reading once said I didn't know how to appreciate the opportunities presented to me.......and people actually gave me chances all the time but I never took them....so this is one of those times when I throw caution to the wind and grabbed opportunity by the balls......coz, come on.......really.....I barely know Alfred.....known him for all of 5 hours.....the biggest thing we had in common was we were both bums........and the next thing I know...I'm throwing my December away....MY FAVOURITE MONTH OF THE ENTIRE YEAR!!!.....working it off.........WHAT THE FUCK GOT INTO ME???!!!
At least I'm taking 2 days off next week and seeing Fai on Monday...I swear that is what is partially getting me through the week.....and a slight increase, in what I hope is, game at work.....hahha........more on that in another post...........and of course...the thought that this is paying for my trip to New York in another......heck...that's getting me through the entire month!!
Right now my life's wake up and try to get to work 'on time'.......wait and surf the net and talk BS till 645pm(weekdays), get dressed in Santa Rina costume that is wwaaayyyy too short for me.....prance around and terrorise giggly condescending teenagers for an hour....get out of Santa Rina outfit.....emcee if Alfred's not there.......and sit there till 10pm.........I can feel my brain cells rotting from lack of stimuli and restful sleep......
Just as my life was hitting cruise.....it's forced into hibernation by gawd knows what impulse.......
Actually....I do know.....A fortune teller or some online reading once said I didn't know how to appreciate the opportunities presented to me.......and people actually gave me chances all the time but I never took them....so this is one of those times when I throw caution to the wind and grabbed opportunity by the balls......coz, come on.......really.....I barely know Alfred.....known him for all of 5 hours.....the biggest thing we had in common was we were both bums........and the next thing I know...I'm throwing my December away....MY FAVOURITE MONTH OF THE ENTIRE YEAR!!!.....working it off.........WHAT THE FUCK GOT INTO ME???!!!
At least I'm taking 2 days off next week and seeing Fai on Monday...I swear that is what is partially getting me through the week.....and a slight increase, in what I hope is, game at work.....hahha........more on that in another post...........and of course...the thought that this is paying for my trip to New York in another......heck...that's getting me through the entire month!!
Thursday 13 December 2007
MNG Sale
Nothing warms the cockles of my conceited narcissistic heart more than hearing the words....
"She looks good it thatlah....how come I can't pull it off wan?"
Simple....I'm half a clothes horse.....deal with it.....
In other news, I bought an MNG 3/4 Brit-looking double breasted coat for 50%....@ RM235.
And No.....I'm not that humble.......
"She looks good it thatlah....how come I can't pull it off wan?"
Simple....I'm half a clothes horse.....deal with it.....
In other news, I bought an MNG 3/4 Brit-looking double breasted coat for 50%....@ RM235.
And No.....I'm not that humble.......
Life Sdn Bhd
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.
No matter how much you try and plan out your life, something will happen to upset your plans....so what do you do when life gives you lemons? You make pink lemonade.
I was suppose to be in Taiwan by now. But due to my procrastinating nature and certain other factors, I'm still here in good old racially-tolerant Malaysia.Plans to Taiwan were pushed back to March next year......have no been pushed back to April or indefinitely......now that sounds familiar....pretty soon I'll be going down Fai's path and screwing it altogether.......okay maybe not...
But staying back has been a good thing. I'm now doing a job that'll hopefully earn me enough to get me to New York next year. I've made new friends and achieved my long time goal of being a party animal with some of them. I've finally gone for casting and gone for a couple of auditions with a big one with SM Entertainment happening next week. I've landed a role in a formal theatre production, albeit a vignette but hey...it's something....Chua's finally out of the army so I can finally try and drag his ass up here for real. Ain's back from Tazzie for hols and Cindy's coming back on Sunday.
Fai said something yesterday during some point of the morning while we were talking about my plans......go with the flow, that's what I'm doing......something someone else said once too....
Go with the flow...so that's what I'll do........go with the flow.......
No matter how much you try and plan out your life, something will happen to upset your plans....so what do you do when life gives you lemons? You make pink lemonade.
I was suppose to be in Taiwan by now. But due to my procrastinating nature and certain other factors, I'm still here in good old racially-tolerant Malaysia.Plans to Taiwan were pushed back to March next year......have no been pushed back to April or indefinitely......now that sounds familiar....pretty soon I'll be going down Fai's path and screwing it altogether.......okay maybe not...
But staying back has been a good thing. I'm now doing a job that'll hopefully earn me enough to get me to New York next year. I've made new friends and achieved my long time goal of being a party animal with some of them. I've finally gone for casting and gone for a couple of auditions with a big one with SM Entertainment happening next week. I've landed a role in a formal theatre production, albeit a vignette but hey...it's something....Chua's finally out of the army so I can finally try and drag his ass up here for real. Ain's back from Tazzie for hols and Cindy's coming back on Sunday.
Fai said something yesterday during some point of the morning while we were talking about my plans......go with the flow, that's what I'm doing......something someone else said once too....
Go with the flow...so that's what I'll do........go with the flow.......
Saturday 8 December 2007
我的故事 .....
你在哪 ?
我等你等的好辛苦噢 。
我等的人会是谁
作词：林怡芬 作曲：李□菘 编曲：Terence Teo
我的故事 也许比较特别 走过的路 也许比较迂回
黑暗之中 全凭著直觉 Keep my faith watch my steps
一步步 靠直觉
也许有天 生命中会出现 那一个谁走进我的心里面
他不必是个Mr. Perfect 只要他 善良体贴 be my friend and be my soul mate
我等的人会是谁 何时才出现 Make me whole make me brave
我等的人会是谁 不急在眼前 I can wait I will Pray
也许有天 生命中会出现 那一个谁走进我的心里面
他不必是个Mr. Perfect 只要他 善良体贴 be my friend and be my soul mate
我等的人会是谁 何时才出现 Make me whole make me brave
我等的人会是谁 希望他了解 不管迷惘或坚决 都是我的某一面
我并不追求完美 只要能 用心体会 每一天 都是Better day
我等的人会是谁 何时才出现 Make me whole make me brave
我等的人会是谁 何时才出现 陪著我 一天一点
让生命 能变得更美
Sung by Renee 陳嘉唯
English translation for the Chinese challenged...
Who will be the one I'm waiting for?
My story may be a bit different, the roads I have taken more winding,
In the dark, all is guided by intuition; Keep my faith, watch my steps,
Step by step, guided by intuition.
Maybe one day in my life there will be, someone who will walk into my heart,
He doesn't have to be a Mr Perfect, only to be kind and affectionate; be my friend and be my soul mate.
Who will be the one I am waiting for? When will he appear? Make me whole, make me brave,
Who will be the one I am waiting for? There is no need for haste; I can wait, I will pray.
Maybe one day in my life there will be, someone who will walk into my heart,
He doesn't have to be a Mr Perfect, only to be kind and affectionate; be my friend and be my soul mate.
Who will be the one I am waiting for? When will he appear? Make me whole, make me brave,
Who will be the one I am waiting for? I hope he understands, no matter the uncertainty or determination, they are all facets of me,
I don't ask for perfection, only to be truly understood, everyday is a better day.
Who will be the one I am waiting for? When will he appear? Make me whole, make me brave,
Who will be the one I am waiting for? When will he appear? To stand by me, a day a moment, so that life can be more beautiful.
Sung by Renee Chan Jia-Wei
我等你等的好辛苦噢 。
我等的人会是谁
作词：林怡芬 作曲：李□菘 编曲：Terence Teo
我的故事 也许比较特别 走过的路 也许比较迂回
黑暗之中 全凭著直觉 Keep my faith watch my steps
一步步 靠直觉
也许有天 生命中会出现 那一个谁走进我的心里面
他不必是个Mr. Perfect 只要他 善良体贴 be my friend and be my soul mate
我等的人会是谁 何时才出现 Make me whole make me brave
我等的人会是谁 不急在眼前 I can wait I will Pray
也许有天 生命中会出现 那一个谁走进我的心里面
他不必是个Mr. Perfect 只要他 善良体贴 be my friend and be my soul mate
我等的人会是谁 何时才出现 Make me whole make me brave
我等的人会是谁 希望他了解 不管迷惘或坚决 都是我的某一面
我并不追求完美 只要能 用心体会 每一天 都是Better day
我等的人会是谁 何时才出现 Make me whole make me brave
我等的人会是谁 何时才出现 陪著我 一天一点
让生命 能变得更美
Sung by Renee 陳嘉唯
English translation for the Chinese challenged...
Who will be the one I'm waiting for?
My story may be a bit different, the roads I have taken more winding,
In the dark, all is guided by intuition; Keep my faith, watch my steps,
Step by step, guided by intuition.
Maybe one day in my life there will be, someone who will walk into my heart,
He doesn't have to be a Mr Perfect, only to be kind and affectionate; be my friend and be my soul mate.
Who will be the one I am waiting for? When will he appear? Make me whole, make me brave,
Who will be the one I am waiting for? There is no need for haste; I can wait, I will pray.
Maybe one day in my life there will be, someone who will walk into my heart,
He doesn't have to be a Mr Perfect, only to be kind and affectionate; be my friend and be my soul mate.
Who will be the one I am waiting for? When will he appear? Make me whole, make me brave,
Who will be the one I am waiting for? I hope he understands, no matter the uncertainty or determination, they are all facets of me,
I don't ask for perfection, only to be truly understood, everyday is a better day.
Who will be the one I am waiting for? When will he appear? Make me whole, make me brave,
Who will be the one I am waiting for? When will he appear? To stand by me, a day a moment, so that life can be more beautiful.
Sung by Renee Chan Jia-Wei
Unfinished
The truth of the matter is...last year at the last day of Satu Kali which was canceled....me and D were there as you and her were walking out. D thought she was cute.....
I thought you were cute...I knew what you both were.
Yet I said to D, you tackle the girl, I tackle the guy........
----------------------
People are saying I look like her.......but frankly, I don't even know what she looks like.....someone said that I should get to know her......but I never saw the point. I still don't. I don't see the need.
Because......I am not her. And never will be.
Is that why I don't have your eye anymore? Or was it the reason I caught it in the first place?
I thought you were cute...I knew what you both were.
Yet I said to D, you tackle the girl, I tackle the guy........
----------------------
People are saying I look like her.......but frankly, I don't even know what she looks like.....someone said that I should get to know her......but I never saw the point. I still don't. I don't see the need.
Because......I am not her. And never will be.
Is that why I don't have your eye anymore? Or was it the reason I caught it in the first place?
Wednesday 5 December 2007
Slog......
Woke up at 750 this morning and hauled ass to The Curve......doing events ain't fun...at least it's paying relatively well.......but my social life's just took a hike....no more clubbing every other night..and definitely no more Lapsap.......DAMN!
Still, I'm popping by Twilight Action Girl this Friday as a send off to Daphne and Hanic who I've only met once a week ago......pretty nice of Daphne to invite me to her farewell....
But gawd....this job is so damn tiring...11-10 everyday......and the dressing up as Santa Rina...cari makan kan?? Argh the things we do for money........
I just need to look at this as being a major contribution to the New York flight fund......expenses can come out of my own coffers.....thank goodness accommodation's on Jim......now to find out where JGL hangs and we're set! Hahaha.....
With KLPac roping me in to do Johann's play, there's no hope of me doing an all-American trip....was hoping I could perhaps swing by Cali and Nevada somehow......but oh well....
Doing Johann's play tho....will set Taiwan plays back again by either another 3 months or till April....I might just go for Cultural Uni's Mandarin course instead of CLD's.......coz I mean....the point is to get signed right? So it doesn't really matter where I study......
Urgh......I need sleep.......for some unknown reason, I haven't been getting enough sleep......either that or accumilation of toxins....so need to use Kinohimitsu.......argh....I just want this whole thing to be over......
Good news tho....it looks like I only have to be Santa Rina till the 23rd...YAY!! Now quickly make it the 23rd!!
Still, I'm popping by Twilight Action Girl this Friday as a send off to Daphne and Hanic who I've only met once a week ago......pretty nice of Daphne to invite me to her farewell....
But gawd....this job is so damn tiring...11-10 everyday......and the dressing up as Santa Rina...cari makan kan?? Argh the things we do for money........
I just need to look at this as being a major contribution to the New York flight fund......expenses can come out of my own coffers.....thank goodness accommodation's on Jim......now to find out where JGL hangs and we're set! Hahaha.....
With KLPac roping me in to do Johann's play, there's no hope of me doing an all-American trip....was hoping I could perhaps swing by Cali and Nevada somehow......but oh well....
Doing Johann's play tho....will set Taiwan plays back again by either another 3 months or till April....I might just go for Cultural Uni's Mandarin course instead of CLD's.......coz I mean....the point is to get signed right? So it doesn't really matter where I study......
Urgh......I need sleep.......for some unknown reason, I haven't been getting enough sleep......either that or accumilation of toxins....so need to use Kinohimitsu.......argh....I just want this whole thing to be over......
Good news tho....it looks like I only have to be Santa Rina till the 23rd...YAY!! Now quickly make it the 23rd!!
Tuesday 4 December 2007
Less e(quals)-mo(re)
I've come to the conclusion that I need to listen to more of my happy music.....
As well as watch less emo shows.....like Grey's or even.....Brick.....
How is Brick emo? Come on......Brendan's looking for the person who got his ex-girlfriend-who-he's-still-in-love-with killed......how is that not emo? Plus it's an indie film....the style in itself, implies emoness.....Also, lusting after a currently unattainable Joseph Gordon-Levitt.....cannot be healthy and doing anything for the soul....
I need to nourish my soul......I need a holiday....a vacation from my brain....from being me....I need to go where nobody knows my name...I need to go where my mind can be free and wonder....wonder the corridors of your life.....see the world through your eyes.......feel the world through your skin.....I need to be
away
from me.....
As well as watch less emo shows.....like Grey's or even.....Brick.....
How is Brick emo? Come on......Brendan's looking for the person who got his ex-girlfriend-who-he's-still-in-love-with killed......how is that not emo? Plus it's an indie film....the style in itself, implies emoness.....Also, lusting after a currently unattainable Joseph Gordon-Levitt.....cannot be healthy and doing anything for the soul....
I need to nourish my soul......I need a holiday....a vacation from my brain....from being me....I need to go where nobody knows my name...I need to go where my mind can be free and wonder....wonder the corridors of your life.....see the world through your eyes.......feel the world through your skin.....I need to be
away
from me.....
Cupcakes and the field of dreams.....
Damnit! Someone's beat me to my cupcake idea of a cafe whose main focus is cupcakes.......tho...it's not like I was gonna do it now...or that no one's done it before.......I mean...I was kind of inspired by Marmalade.......anyways....I've checked out the competition's cupcakes....they are........quite good....they might give my future business a run for its' money...or should it be that I will give them a run for their money....I happen to think that my chocolate cupcakes are more chocolatey.....
Tho...whose to say that cupcakes will still be the 'in' thing when it comes time for me to set up shop? I mean....cupcakes are all the rage right now...but what about in 5 years time? heck...even 2 years! will they still be 'in'?
Tho...whose to say that cupcakes will still be the 'in' thing when it comes time for me to set up shop? I mean....cupcakes are all the rage right now...but what about in 5 years time? heck...even 2 years! will they still be 'in'?
Monday 3 December 2007
Fame Academy Season 1 Re-Visited - Sinead Quinn
I Can't Break Down
Now I know I can handle this
I'll close my mouth and clench my fist
I've lived this day in a thousand ways
But there's a flaw to add to my list
Go on squeeze a little more
If you scream I'll just ignore you
I've rehearsed this scene in a million dreams
You're getting closer to my core
I'm so damn frustrated
Losing breath and now I'm shaking
Gotta keep myself from breaking down
Someone get me out
Tear don't you fall
Eyes don't you cry
Need to get me round this corner
I can't break down, break down
Pride don't cave in
Head don't let go
While I'm open and you can read me
I can't break down, break down
I've locked it out for long enough
Got really good at playing rough now
I've been prepared
And not really cared
For being brave is getting tough
Chin now don't you quiver
Hands don't start to shiver
Gotta keep myself from breaking down
Someone get me out, someone let me out
You smile like the cat that's got the cream
I'm vulnerable and I know you see me
There's so much I wanna say
But this lump in my throat makes me walk away
Away, Away
Tear don't you fall
Eyes don't you cry
Pride don't cave in
Head don't let go
Break down, I can't break down
Dedicated to Mai.
Now I know I can handle this
I'll close my mouth and clench my fist
I've lived this day in a thousand ways
But there's a flaw to add to my list
Go on squeeze a little more
If you scream I'll just ignore you
I've rehearsed this scene in a million dreams
You're getting closer to my core
I'm so damn frustrated
Losing breath and now I'm shaking
Gotta keep myself from breaking down
Someone get me out
Tear don't you fall
Eyes don't you cry
Need to get me round this corner
I can't break down, break down
Pride don't cave in
Head don't let go
While I'm open and you can read me
I can't break down, break down
I've locked it out for long enough
Got really good at playing rough now
I've been prepared
And not really cared
For being brave is getting tough
Chin now don't you quiver
Hands don't start to shiver
Gotta keep myself from breaking down
Someone get me out, someone let me out
You smile like the cat that's got the cream
I'm vulnerable and I know you see me
There's so much I wanna say
But this lump in my throat makes me walk away
Away, Away
Tear don't you fall
Eyes don't you cry
Pride don't cave in
Head don't let go
Break down, I can't break down
Dedicated to Mai.
Fame Academy Season 1 Re-Visited - Ainslie Henderson
Keep Me A Secret
I'm trying not to feel you
But you just brushed by
And if you dare to cross that line you know
My toes would step on fire
Ohh sizzle when it's face on face
And skin on skin
I'm trying to keep you out
And I'm trying to keep me in
One hundred million eyes
Behind these walls
Watching you
Hearing you
Knowing you
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
Needn't not to notice you
But you grab my eye
Don't let embraces linger
Try to keep our arms untied
See there you go again
You're making me mad
'Cos I'm drawn to this danger
Oh, it's making me mad
One hundred million reasons to ignore
Of wanting to be with you
One hundred million eyes
Behind these walls
Watching you
Hearing you
Knowing you
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
All I'm asking is for nothing
And if nothing is enough for you
Oh leave it I said keep you inside your head
Under your breath
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
Dedicated to my smoking angel army.
I'm trying not to feel you
But you just brushed by
And if you dare to cross that line you know
My toes would step on fire
Ohh sizzle when it's face on face
And skin on skin
I'm trying to keep you out
And I'm trying to keep me in
One hundred million eyes
Behind these walls
Watching you
Hearing you
Knowing you
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
Needn't not to notice you
But you grab my eye
Don't let embraces linger
Try to keep our arms untied
See there you go again
You're making me mad
'Cos I'm drawn to this danger
Oh, it's making me mad
One hundred million reasons to ignore
Of wanting to be with you
One hundred million eyes
Behind these walls
Watching you
Hearing you
Knowing you
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
All I'm asking is for nothing
And if nothing is enough for you
Oh leave it I said keep you inside your head
Under your breath
Keep me a secret
Keep me out your arms
Keep my kisses off your lipstick
Stop me swallowing your charms
Keep yourself a secret
Lock up all your doors
I'll keep you out of my dreams
Just you keep me out of yours
Dedicated to my smoking angel army.
Fame Academy Season 1 Re-Visited - David Sneddon
Stop Living The Lie
He sits alone at a table in a small cafe
Drowning his tears in a bottomless cup of coffee
And hes tumbling into his thoughts
His memories are all tied in knots
And who is going to save him
No one wants to know him
She stands alone in a place where no one knows her name
She catches them staring they turn around and vanish the frame
And shes nursing her head and her pride
She died long ago deep down inside
And who is going to save her
No one wants to know her
I can't believe that you'd pull on a sleeve when you cry
You stick in the knife then give the kiss of life
Live the lie
And we all have a saviour
So do yourself a favour
Stop living the lie
He sits alone and looks up to the eyes of an angel
She catches him staring and smiles the smile of an angel
And she asks him if this chair is free
He said yes will you sit here with me
No one would have saved him
We should all learn from them
Lie.... lie.... stop livin the lie
Dedicated, to me.
He sits alone at a table in a small cafe
Drowning his tears in a bottomless cup of coffee
And hes tumbling into his thoughts
His memories are all tied in knots
And who is going to save him
No one wants to know him
She stands alone in a place where no one knows her name
She catches them staring they turn around and vanish the frame
And shes nursing her head and her pride
She died long ago deep down inside
And who is going to save her
No one wants to know her
I can't believe that you'd pull on a sleeve when you cry
You stick in the knife then give the kiss of life
Live the lie
And we all have a saviour
So do yourself a favour
Stop living the lie
He sits alone and looks up to the eyes of an angel
She catches him staring and smiles the smile of an angel
And she asks him if this chair is free
He said yes will you sit here with me
No one would have saved him
We should all learn from them
Lie.... lie.... stop livin the lie
Dedicated, to me.
Brand New Day.....Brand New Year.....
The start of the new year....the year I turn 24.........
Wish I could say that I'm a new person from the person I was a year ago....But just barely....
I'm not really that different.
I still want the same things....Yearn for the same experiences.....Pine for the same.....
Sure, I've met new people, done new things, accomplished (or should I say finish) things that are long over due....but despite all of it...essentially I am still that same person I was a year ago...
Not much has changed....I don't feel different...perhaps, even.....I feel worse.....I'm getting older, but not necessarily wiser.
I still make stupid mistakes. Hurt myself in the same ways. Make the same mistakes...and even bigger mistakes.....
Aside from graduating college, I have no accomplishments to boast of. And the future is not really all that bright and cheery as I usually make it out to be.......It's dark, uncertain and most importantly perhaps, now, alone.
My soul mate, is no more.
Spare a tear for the wicked.......
Me.
Wish I could say that I'm a new person from the person I was a year ago....But just barely....
I'm not really that different.
I still want the same things....Yearn for the same experiences.....Pine for the same.....
Sure, I've met new people, done new things, accomplished (or should I say finish) things that are long over due....but despite all of it...essentially I am still that same person I was a year ago...
Not much has changed....I don't feel different...perhaps, even.....I feel worse.....I'm getting older, but not necessarily wiser.
I still make stupid mistakes. Hurt myself in the same ways. Make the same mistakes...and even bigger mistakes.....
Aside from graduating college, I have no accomplishments to boast of. And the future is not really all that bright and cheery as I usually make it out to be.......It's dark, uncertain and most importantly perhaps, now, alone.
My soul mate, is no more.
Spare a tear for the wicked.......
Me.
Saturday 1 December 2007
Pang
I stumbled across a photo.....and felt a sudden pang....a falling out of the heart, like the chest cavity hollowed out and it dropped straight into a pit....... hurt? pain? guilt? I don't know.....loss perhaps....of fleeting moments.....
I thought I was over it....apparently not......Emotionally....I am not as strong as I seem to be...I cry behind closed doors......or behind a facade...I cry inside....I hurt, I bleed......Not many people know me...the real me.......the only person who glimpsed an inkling, has since left me......Destiny has yet again dealt me the Hermit card........
Do not offer me the chance of redemption....Do not offer me a glimpse of what is on the other side....Do not show me constant reminders of what I lack......Do not send your messengers and heralds.....Do not tempt me with your little smoking angel army........Do not.......Stop......
I thought I was over it....apparently not......Emotionally....I am not as strong as I seem to be...I cry behind closed doors......or behind a facade...I cry inside....I hurt, I bleed......Not many people know me...the real me.......the only person who glimpsed an inkling, has since left me......Destiny has yet again dealt me the Hermit card........
Do not offer me the chance of redemption....Do not offer me a glimpse of what is on the other side....Do not show me constant reminders of what I lack......Do not send your messengers and heralds.....Do not tempt me with your little smoking angel army........Do not.......Stop......
"I have a woman's body, and a child's emotion."
-Elizabeth Taylor
@}-',-
-Elizabeth Taylor
@}-',-
ps: what a way to start my birthday month.....and end the year....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
