Pang

I stumbled across a photo.....and felt a sudden pang....a falling out of the heart, like the chest cavity hollowed out and it dropped straight into a pit....... hurt? pain? guilt? I don't know.....loss perhaps....of fleeting moments.....

I thought I was over it....apparently not......Emotionally....I am not as strong as I seem to be...I cry behind closed doors......or behind a facade...I cry inside....I hurt, I bleed......Not many people know me...the real me.......the only person who glimpsed an inkling, has since left me......Destiny has yet again dealt me the Hermit card........

Do not offer me the chance of redemption....Do not offer me a glimpse of what is on the other side....Do not show me constant reminders of what I lack......Do not send your messengers and heralds.....Do not tempt me with your little smoking angel army........Do not.......Stop......

"I have a woman's body, and a child's emotion."
-Elizabeth Taylor
@}-',-

ps: what a way to start my birthday month.....and end the year....