The Whirlwind Weekend....

This last weekend's been eventful to say the least...

It stared off wiht my pathetic plea to the heavens that I get into Star Idol Malaysia....I did....I'm in the Top 100 and they'll be whittling us down to Top 20 next Monday...damn.......I just broadcasted that over World Wide Web...do you know how that'll jinx my chances??!!! Who cares...it's in the bag.... ; P...confidence is a way of life.....embrace it.

"This will not be quick. You will not enjoy this. And I am not your queen."

Anyways....Star Idol Auditions.....I had to wait a painstaking 6 hours to get auditioned...by that time...I went on stage a nervous wreck...I'd missed my bus to Singapore which cost me, or to be more precise my mom, 80 bucks........I wasn't really all that prepared for the self introduction....the only thing I had going for me was my acting skills and that also didn't get off to a good start....but thank Hecate I got the script I wanted...and thank Hecate for the nerves...cause they came in mighty handy during my scene...I almost cried on stage due to despairfor f-ing up almost royally......and right at the moment my character was despairing......and me and my character just happened to be despairing over the same thing.......broken dreams.......that gets me every time......

You can never know how much it scares me not to be able to live my dreams..in even the most remotest sense...why do you think I do bit parts for free? Model for my friend Chris for next to nothing? Do backstage work? Help out my friends in theatre, TV and film? Am studying performing arts?! It's all aimed at one specific goal and dream in life. I would literally die if I couldn't live my dream....in even the most smallest and seemingly insignificant way. Helping others achieve that dream I might be denied of. That's why i help people out. People who are live me, have similar dreams.....but I digress......the weekend..

Well, after I got on stage...it was a quick self intro which I stuttered through coz heaven knows mandarin is no longer my first language......it was when I was a wee tiny lass....so much so that I cried first day of kindy cause everyone else spoke english and I didn't!! you wouldn't have know by speaking to me now...heck even I didn't till me dear ol' ma told me....bless her little heart for waiting for me at MINES all those 6 f-ing hours for like a 7 minute audition! I was in, on stage, and out like lightning.......then It was off to hunt for a bus to Singapore......I took a 9pm bus from the old train station and arrived in Singapore at 130am........bless me ma again for lettin' me charge that 80 dollar bus ticket to me credit card.....I swear....bless her heart.......Don't worry ma, you're gonna be a 星妈, like those of the old Hong Kong. It'll all be worth it.........you'll get to meet KangTa......yes, me ma thinks KangTa is cute...out of all the boys in the entertainment industry...she had to pick KangTa.......good taste tho....I have to say.....

Right....so I arrived at me favourite hotel, Hotel 1929, at 2 am...checked in and was finally able to rest....by that time, my eyeballs were screaming for a reprieve from my contact lenses and I was starving and knackered.......thankfully, I had the foresight to ta-pao the mee goreng from the bus! Haha.......

Okay...it's getting late....More on my weekend tomorrow......I've got some interesting insights to shed on Murakami's effect on my life........