Pirates of the Caribbean : At World's End

It's been roughly two days since I watched Pirates 3...so my reaction to it will be a bit less....volatile.....so...bless them....

First Reaction: IT'S NOT CAP'N JACK'S FAULT, WILL AND LIZ TURNER CAN'T HOLD THEIR OWN ON SCREEN......SO DON'T PUNISH CAP'N JACK!!!!

Second Reaction: Leave the sappy love scenes to the girl writers, boys......or at least give it to a dude who can write it well....like Nick Sparks...and even he didn't write the screenplays for his movies...I mean look at Ep 2 of Star Wars...heck look at the entire Star Wars Prequel........most men can't write love scenes to save their nuts!

Third Reaction: Nothing beats Pirates of the Caribbean : Curse of the Black Pearl. And as big a fan as I am of Cap'n Jack......maybe they should have just left it at that.....

Pirates 3......is a marginally enjoyable movie...even in my half groggy but wired on chocolate state watching it at 11pm on Tuesday night. My brain was still in enough working order to work out the inadequacies in the movie. I mean, sure after watching Pirates 2, you kinda gather that it's kind of a glorified trailer for the final installment.....and I don't mind......coz if that was the trailer....imagine the movie right? And that's where it all went horribly wrong.

Pirates 2 and 3 still pale in comparison to their predecessor.

In the case of Pirates 3....it was a case of too much in too little time, yes 2 hours and 40 minutes is still too little time......if they'd just kept it simple...then it would have been a far more enjoyable movie.........but okay....I get that they want to add depth into the movie.....so erm....how about adding some of the depth into the second movie that was just this one long gag fest??? I mean, the movie had so much potential.....I mean it's got a great myth to draw on...pirates...it's got characters who have like so many stories to tell.....Tia Dalma, Jack Sparrow, Barbossa and even Will and Elizabeth...to a grudgingly certain extent........and come on...Jack Sparrow steals the show! Which is probably one of the reasons for that little add on scene at the back.........to bring it back to Will and Elizabeth......coz I mean...for the most part, they've been so overshadowed by the rest of them....they're too.....normal.....heck...even Beckett's got more of a story and presence......

But I think the problem was still too much info....the writers were trying to really flesh out the world they were in......


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Brethen Court....Singapore...which should be Temasek by the way!!! do your research you American bastards!!!.....Tia Dalma being Calypso....the double and triple crossing...the stabbing of the heart and the Flying Dutchman always needing a captain.........


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It was all rather much like information diarrhoea..........they should have just kept it simple...and wrote everything into a book.....like Star Wars' expanded universe......then you can write everything you want......give the whole bloody thing as much depth as you need.........the writing for the movie...was....oh my gosh! in a commercial Summer Blockbuster??!! really?? I always thought this was an arthouse thing.....self indulgent..........the writers had so much to tell...but lacked the time, finesse and self control to know when to stop.......



****Spoiler*******


I mean really....what purpose did Sao Feng, the Brethen Court and Singapore really serve? nothing....not a single iota.....they were just along for the ride.....to free Calypso I here you say?? Witches have freed spirits for less......just rewrite the mythology, streamline it and all you need is an artifact and some magic words......better yet...Davy Jone's heart! hey presto.......Happy ending!!!! but no.....they had to be grandiose...they had to try and be Harry f-ing Potter.............they had to try and be...non-Disney.....puhleeze.......you give us a cheesy wedding vow exchange during a fight thing and give us unhappy ending??? and you claim that there's no fourth one planned??? I'll believe you.......in the next ice age you franchise-money-making movie-killing bastards!!


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My only consolation, if there is a fourth.....is that Johnny'll still be Cap'n Jack and Kiera Knightley won't be in it..........Hallelujah! Sorry boys.....I like Kiera but she was shyte! Her lines were anyways......THAT SPEECH??!!! Who is she?? Joan of Arc??!! NO!!!! And I very well hope that Jack gets a love interest in the next one......and I'll be first in line to beg for the part!!! I swear....I could have shagged his filthy grimy scruffy arse right there in Davy Jone's Locker......Sorry Orly.....take a backseat please.........Orlando Bloom lacked so much sex appeal.....he could almost be a robot....no wait, I take that back...I happen to think Data's quite sexy actually.....this is one film where squeaky clean good looks will get you nowhere....

So should you watch Pirates 3? By all means.....if you've been following it so far, sure.....and equal amounts of people do enjoy this movie...I enjoyed it somewhat but not as much as I'd hoped......it's a fun romp that thinks a bit highly of itself......but it's alright....just leave the connoisseur side of your brain at the door...