The New NLD

What is it with me and younger guys? Personally…..first NLD and now the new ‘NLD’, who hereby shall not be named to protect the innocent…..and by innocent, I mean me…as he is more than capable of using said information against me….Then on the rabid fan girl side...there’s a whole host of cute young spunky munchkins to ogle…..oh how glad am I that 熬犬 is older than me……

Is it maternal instinct kicking in? Or is it a Mrs Robinson syndrome? Who knows……..just be thankful it’s not as cradle snatching as last time! Jeez Louise…..5 years?! Sheesh!

But what ever it is……I’m not going to start jumping to emotional conclusions…let’s just….sit this one out…and let pieces fall where they lie……

In other news…….it’s been a mad week…so mad that I totally absolutely forgot to call that girl from HVD that James ask me to call for auditions for that TV show he’s doing for them! Ai-ya-yai! What the f**k man?!! Ah well……I can be all sour grapes about it but let’s just admit it’s a lost opportunity…Baks will argue I can still just call up…..but me being lazy….I just can’t be bothered…..and of course…..I STILL haven’t gone and cast at Famous Artiste……

Now the reason behind the madness……everyone who reads my blog should know it by now…..the pageant…..am tempted to call it bloody….but let’s not bite the hand that feeds you…..But it is damn 麻烦……I mean 3 evening gowns and 3 cocktail dresses in a week…..REALLY??!!! Thank goddess for Avee……she’s a lifesaver! I owe you so much, love! And Alan is a sweetheart from all the contact I’ve had with him……I’ll admit…I’m probably driving him up the wall! I know me…….I even drive Baks up the wall and he already has his hands full with Ju…..

I binge think and drive myself crazy over thinking and stressing over seeming little details……my immediate reaction after getting the list of stuff I need to get ready for the pageant? Stress….call Baki for emotional support and have him go….”okay babe. Don’t freak out. Stop stressing. Take a deep breath and relax… I’ll be back in KL tomorrow and we meet up okay?.....I know you, you start stressing and then you start crying.” and there I was on the verge of tears on the phone. But like a trooper I sucked it up and stuck it out. And now here we are……..post 5 impromptu vocal lessons, 2.5 evening dresses, 1 bikini and .5 cocktail dresses down the road with 5 days to go before the pageant. Alan said he’d help with the stuff I still don’t have, Avee’s helping to extend that dress, I’m buying that Ted Baker number, and contemplating on the RM500 mod cocktail (dress).

Yes ladies and gentleman………I am taking this quite seriously. Which brings me back to……..

Justin.

Yes, Fai…..one of this year’s Cleo Bachelors and last year’s Female Most Gorgeous Man. Justin it seems was one of the few people who took the Cleo thing seriously……may seem trivial to most people….but I mean…..this is what we do. But to a certain extent…I have to agree with the masses…it’s the Cleo Bachelors……it’s just a lark…plus….IT’S RIGGED!! Rigged so badly it’s like a politician on graft, sure thing. Don’t believe me? Check out all the past winners……..and then check out the cover of the issue when they were introduced…who I wonder is on the cover? Rigged or not? You decide.

Now why does that bring me back to Fai? Simple we both take these things seriously….which got me to thinking that we might be quite alike…..are we Sums?? Thos you might say you can’t be sure coz you don’t know him well…….I think we are in some ways….He thinks doing all this prep work for going on radio is grief he doesn’t need….much like my attitude with certain things to…Tracy and Amal and ssooo attest to that……we’re both pretty westernised….tho so is 1/2 the world but let’s not go there…..Britain played impotant parts in our lives,,,,,okay I just might be strstching it a bit on that one…….but I mean…attitude wise….our goals…..years ago, my goals were just like his…all over the place….actor-singer-fashion designer……….tho it’s still pretty much the same now… tv-stage-film-malaysia-taiwan-japan-scriptwriter-producer-baker/restaurantier… but I’d like to think, I have more…….vision? driven goals?....focus than I did a couple of years ago…..haha…it makes me sound so old compared to Fai, who in actual fact is like 3 years my senior……..but in certain ways….I do feel older….and somehow wiser…..he’s like this big child………

So now we’re back at the new ‘NLD’…things with him are so different.....where as in the past i was at thier beck and call...it's more of a 2 way thing with this at the moment......but the relationship whatever it turns itself out to be is still fledgling at best....so let's not jump to conclusions and jinx anything....