I cannot believe how insignificant I feel right now. I feel like some rat that's crawled into a deep dark place to get away from the world or escape reality.
At home, the political climate is changing. Anwar is back and is planning to change the country. This could, this might, this...is the dawn of a brand new era. For I think, regardless of whether or not Sept 16 goes according to plan, Malaysian politics will be changed forever. For better or for worse, only Sept 16th and time, will tell.
And here I am. 'Chasing my dreams' all the way out here in Taiwan. When a part of me wants to take to the streets when they do back home. Wants to join in the vigils. The protests. Take that walk and light that candle. Perhaps I'm just in it for the opportunity, the chance to feel like I'm making a difference. Like I'm standing up for something, when really, I'm just there when it's seemingly convenient or spectacular. That I'm only there for the drama...in chinese...凑热闹. Perhaps I am. But so what?
Compared to what's happening back home, what I'm doing, pales in comparison. So, insignificant. So futile. Dare I say....selfish? A part of me wishes I was an activist. That I am the kind that constantly strives to make our society better. The kind that actually does something that worthwhile, not only for themselves and their immediate surrounding circle, but for their society and their people and for the world. The opportunity has also been there.......but I've never really.....grabbed it.
Why?
Why am I choosing to lead my life away from my society? Away from the achievement of the greater good (if that makes sense). Why am I choosing a path and leads away from the masses and towards the self? Am I selfish? Am I? For as a celebrity, what can I do for my country? What?
What?
edit - 2:08am
But what could I possibly at home? March. Protest. Rally. What use would that serve? A demonstration of democracy, a show of people's will. ....what?
But what I truly want. What I truly feel, is the need to just be there. To sit on Malaysian soil with my brethren and wait. With bated breath. For a new age. Or not. To just, be ,There. And not far away, removed from my world, my country, my home in her time of distress.
To just be.....There.
At home, the political climate is changing. Anwar is back and is planning to change the country. This could, this might, this...is the dawn of a brand new era. For I think, regardless of whether or not Sept 16 goes according to plan, Malaysian politics will be changed forever. For better or for worse, only Sept 16th and time, will tell.
And here I am. 'Chasing my dreams' all the way out here in Taiwan. When a part of me wants to take to the streets when they do back home. Wants to join in the vigils. The protests. Take that walk and light that candle. Perhaps I'm just in it for the opportunity, the chance to feel like I'm making a difference. Like I'm standing up for something, when really, I'm just there when it's seemingly convenient or spectacular. That I'm only there for the drama...in chinese...凑热闹. Perhaps I am. But so what?
Compared to what's happening back home, what I'm doing, pales in comparison. So, insignificant. So futile. Dare I say....selfish? A part of me wishes I was an activist. That I am the kind that constantly strives to make our society better. The kind that actually does something that worthwhile, not only for themselves and their immediate surrounding circle, but for their society and their people and for the world. The opportunity has also been there.......but I've never really.....grabbed it.
Why?
Why am I choosing to lead my life away from my society? Away from the achievement of the greater good (if that makes sense). Why am I choosing a path and leads away from the masses and towards the self? Am I selfish? Am I? For as a celebrity, what can I do for my country? What?
What?
edit - 2:08am
But what could I possibly at home? March. Protest. Rally. What use would that serve? A demonstration of democracy, a show of people's will. ....what?
But what I truly want. What I truly feel, is the need to just be there. To sit on Malaysian soil with my brethren and wait. With bated breath. For a new age. Or not. To just, be ,There. And not far away, removed from my world, my country, my home in her time of distress.
To just be.....There.
1 hit backs:
The fact that you still keep a close tab on the happenings in our home soil makes you ev'ry part of the sharin' in the plough (of rebuildin' our nation)... Fly the national flag, which bear ev'ry symbol of bein' Malaysian high in the sky... and stand proud. i, for one, am truly proud to be able to call you my fellow comrade in arm, my fellow Malaysian. :)
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