Remember My Name, Fame!

Fame -Irene Cara



Baby look at me
And tell me what you see.
You ain't seen the best of me yet
Give me time, I'll make you forget the rest.
I got more in me, and you can set it free
I can catch the moon in my hand
Don't you know who I am?

Remember my name (Fame)
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly (High)
I feel it coming together
People will see me and die (Fame)
I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame (Fame)
I'm gonna live forever
Baby, remember my name
Remember, Remember, Remember, Remember,
Remember, Remember, Remember, Remember

Baby hold me tight
'Cause you can make it right.
You can shoot me straight to the top
Give me love and take all I got to give.
Baby I'll be tough
Too much is not enough, no
I can ride your heart till it breaks
You've got what it takes.

Soul//Music

Have you ever come across music that, no matter what they're singing about, no matter how sad the lyrics, how melancholic the melody, it just puts a smile on your face? That takes your breath away? That makes you just want to jump up and shout and scream and run? Perhaps it's just wistful thinking, maybe it just my imagination....but I like to think of it as passion. The artist's passion for what he's doing, his music. He's putting his heart and soul into this and he's exhilarated. I like to think that it's his joy at being able to put this down on record. This music. His music. His passion. His conviction. His joy. His meaning to exist.

Or perhaps his thought and feeling at that precise moment. The views before his eyes, or their eyes as is the case of Taiwan's iconic band Mayday （五月天） for their album, God's Children Are All Dancing 《神的孩子都在跳舞》, which they recorded in a 'remote' studio up in the foothills of Mount Fuji. I mean, how can you not be filled with joy when you're playing to floor to ceiling glass windows opening out to Mother Nature in all her glory? But then again.....Mayday's music has always been about hope and heart......

Or perhaps it's music that comes out of tragedy? Music that does in itself sing of the exhilaration of being, alive. Like Andrew McMahon of Jack's Mannequin, formerly of Something Corporate. The Glass Passenger, Jack's Mannequin's latest studio album, was writing by Andrew post -leukemia....does that have anything to do with it? Actually when it comes to Andrew...I doubt it because just their debut album, Everything in Transit, alone......blew me away....

But for what ever reason, what ever else it is. This is music that feeds the soul. Gives one hope.

These are just some of the bands that make my soul sing......what's yours?

ps: mind the vid....it's the best audio track I could find.....

Like Father Like Daughter - 有其父必有其女

What is it with daughters of famous directors? They always come out with these visually stunning works of art. Perhaps it's the constant exposure to daddy's works. Or perhaps the need to make a statement of one's own and step out from under daddy's shadow. Whatever it is, there's only one word for it. Stunning. Who am I talking about?
Sofia Coppola and Mika Ninagawa.

Sofia Coppola
Daughter of Godfather director Francis Ford...Rose to fame after directing The Virgin Suicides and Lost in Translation.....

Then came the visual candy that is Marie Antoinette....


Mika Ninagawa - 蜷川實花(Ninagawa Mika)
Daughter of famed Japanese theatre director Yukio Ninagawa....Rose to fame as a uber vibrant and stunningly vivid photographer.....

Then came her directorial debut with the visual feast that is Sakuran...

Supportive

Okay....I can now.....not say.....that my mom isn't supportive anymore and is just fed up...coz if the woman is ready to put me through college again....in the UK, again!, no less....that kinda speaks for itself.....

Frankly.....I don't understand....I mean.....I do...but it's like....REALLY??!!!! But I get it. I suppose. I've already fulfilled part of the bargain. I actually finished something....important.....an education. Albeit it's only a diploma......but hey I finished it.



I suppose....she is proud of me.

Right?

Soul Searching.....?

For the first time in my life....or perhaps not.....but for the first time that I can remember I want to go home to KL and do some soul searching......or perhaps just plain soul searching....

Perhaps it's the fact that I've been downloading US shows like crazy these past few weeks......or perhaps it's the city itself, tho I doubt it......but....lately, I've just been feeling this, disconnection with the city around me. Perhaps it's something telling me that this is not my home. Rarely have I ever felt this disconnected from the city around me. Perhaps only in Singapore towards the end of my stay there. Tho, I seriously feel that this city is not at fault. It's just me.

I suddenly can't see where I fit in here. or how. Yet there is so much here for me......or is there?

Being here.......has made me....Since I've been here.....I've had so many ideas for projects and things to do back home in KL.....it's almost like...where the f*ck were these ideas when I was back home? Perhaps it's that right now I have the time to cultivate these ideas, or perhaps this city is giving me all these inspirations?

I don't know. I suddenly feel this connection with western TV...again more than likely the affect of watching so many western TV shows lately....I have been lax in watching Taiwanese TV.....but how can I when the Ukrainian girls sit in front of the TV, hogging it while they do homework? The living room doesn't even feel like mine and more like theirs! It's like even if I do sit down, it's like I'm borrowing it from them or can only use it after they've gone to bed. Not exactly the kind of TV watching feeling I'd like to sit down to....especially after having my own TV for most of my overseas student life.......

Or perhaps all this just boils down to my insecurities. ChouStars didn't call me in for a interview, which is quite a blow to my ego. Perhaps it's just this revisiting of my insecurities in KL. I know I can act. I know I look good. But people don't see that. I'm not what they want. What they want are these gawd knows what kind of pretty face that can't act for peanuts. Why? Or is it that I'm not doing enough? I'll admit, that I don't promote myself enough. I don't whore myself out and go for every fucking audition out there. Should I? Even John Cho said that even if he went for auditions for things he didn't feel strongly about, he never ended up getting the parts anyways. Or does that sound like an excuse for me because hey, he's John Cho? And as much as I know you guys are being supportive, friends telling me to have faith and that I rock, doesn't really help. I do appreciate the encouragement, I really do.....but perhaps I'm just in my emo phase so please forgive me if I seem ungrateful.

If people don't give you work, make work for yourself. That's a rule I live by.....kind of, a rule I mean. I live by that. So perhaps the part of me that's emoing right now.....is frustrated that unlike when I'm at home in KL, here in Taipei, I'm powerless. And I haven't been powerless in a long time. I suppose it's a sobering experience for the soul. Let's it be knocked down a couple of notches. Or let's it be grateful for the people I have back home. The connections I've made, the people I rely on. My friends. My comrade in arms. My kindred spirits. Frankly I really don't know how we survive doing what we do. Perhaps it's our bourgeois background.......or perhaps it's just me. I love you all, you should know who you are.

XOXO........

No Day But Today.....

Finale B - Rent the Musical

MARK
There Is No Future - There Is No Past

ROGER
Thank God This Moments Not The Last

MIMI & ROGER
There's Only Us
There's Only This
Forget Regret Or Life Is Yours To Miss

ALL
No Other Road No Other Way
No Day But Today

WOMEN
I Can't Control

My Destiny

I Trust My Soul

My Only Goal
Is Just To Be

Without You
The Hand Gropes
The Ear Hears
The Pulse Beats
Life Goes On
But I'm Gone
Cause I Die
Without You
I Die Without You
I Die Without You
I Die Without You
I Die Without You
I Die Without You

ALL
No Day But Today

MEN
Will I Lose My Dignity
Will Someone Care
Will I Wake Tomorrow
From This Nightmare

There's Only Now
There's Only Here
Give In To Love
Or Live In Fear
No Other Path
No Other Way
No Day But Today

No Day But Today
No Day But Today
No Day But Today
No Day But Today
No Day But Today

All
No Day But Today

5 Takes : My Way

Oh my gawd! While doing some online surfing and formulating an idea for Mission Americana and post discovery of lonelygirl15.....I stumbled upon the most...rad idea........can you just imagine a guerrilla filmmaking styled travel show, showing the v-logs of a group of friends travelling or backpacking through wherever? kinda like 5 takes.....only....REAL(okay.....I mean 5 Takes is real too, so perhaps the word I'm looking for is less budget).....as in no pro production team and just RAW!? I mean, screw TV right? If they don't want me.... ; P

Tho....I'm sure it's not the most original idea.....and I mean, who could afford to do something like this?? Where would I even begin to get the funding in KL for a project like this? The project in itself could go two ways........completely truth and factual or lonelygirl15 fiction...or perhaps a mixture of both.......

Now, wait what is Mission Americana? Well....truth be told, it's just an idea at the moment, but it's basically the sister of Mission Britannica, which is my major England and Ireland travel experience thingy.....right now it's basically all the things I wanna see and do in the UK(Britanicca) and the US(Americana) all jumbled into one and somehow trying to find a way to make it all fit. Stuff I wanna do in these places right now include and are in no way exhaustive are......

• Haggis Tour of Scotland to overnight in a castle!
• Shamrock Tour of Ireland to experience the Eire
• 2-3 week course at Oideas Gael to study Gaelic and learn 'in depth' about Irish culture
• Sacred Journeys tour of England to get in touch with me spirituality
• Various hodge podge of activities in and around good ol' London, including of course VARIOUS Walking London Tours, West End shows
  
• Trip to Blackpool , perhaps even Notthingham, Stratford-upon-Avon, and isn't there a huge terrarium somewhere with a rainforest in it? Of course...how could I have forgotten...
• Visit to the Eden Project
  
• Experience New Orleans Mardi Gras
• 1 week Pilobolos Summer Workshop
• 2 week Performing Artists Cultural Visitors Program at the Kennedy Center
• 2 week seminar at Arcosanti
• In NY itself : Nuyorican Poets Cafe, Dr. Sketychy's Anti Art Class, burlesque class, Coney Island Side Show School, not mention watch loads of Broadway
• Vegas
• 1-2 weeks in Orlando, Disney World ppl!
• 1-2 weeks in California...heaven knows to do what else, but the theme parks are defo on the agenda
  

Bottom line of course...all of what I wanna do, is gonna cost a lot of money.....and of course, may not interest other people.....true, certain aspects of these trips are totally for self fulfillment, but I mean, there are aspects that others might like right? Partying at Mardi Gras in New Orleans, DisneyWolrd, theme parks??

The only reason that there's no Mission Europa right now, is coz I'm hopin' yo join Jeff and the boys on their Eurotrip next autumn, but if I ain't got the funds fer that when the time comes, then a definite planning for Mission Europa will definitely go underway!! Hehehe.....

Gosh, if I ever get any of these trips off the ground....it'll be such a blast.....

Any takers?

internet tv

Right....okay..so watching a wee bit too much internet tv...mainly from the US...will be leaving me with a wee bit of a Valley Girl accent.....

Right so.....I've been like online virtually the whole day checking out webisodes on the internet right...and I've stumbled onto some real jems.....see..me and my friedns back home have toyed with the idea of doing like lots of online media stuff...Malik with his post Joanne Kam revue show/SNL idea and David C with his no-holds-barred zine idea.....and well...lil'o me who gets easily inspired by watching everything and anything I get my peepers on....tho usually on more fanfic like endeavours..

But anywhos....on my quest today, I came across the whole lonelygirl15 phenom....and I find it really really intriguing...... of course, viewing it all now in like ultra retrospect and the complete knowledge that is it a 'show' more than likely detracts from it's impact. But for 'research's sake, I'm planning to follow the current lonelygirl15 series - lonelygirl15:the resistance. just to feel the effects........

Aside from that I'm totally into like imagining a phenom like that's impact on the Malaysian TV industry....I can't wait to tell Boss!!!

I mean, Malaysian media is already doing stuff like Media Prima's CatchUp TV and also Gua.com.my's online shows. With the lack(or lax) of censorship on the web in Malaysia, online would be the way to go no? I mean, imagine the stories you could tell? Already before discovering lonelygirl15. I had wanted to do a very teen and internet based TV show.....adding a internet dimension to it...would only add to the.....mythology? or coherence of the show's universe or whatever you call it......of course...right now, it's just me shooting my mouth off and not being able to do anything much about it concretely since I really envisioning doing this in KL and all my resources are there anyways......

Of course this strong desire to do something back home, kind of detracts from my vision of my future here in Taiwan.....all Laws of Attraction and stuff like that.....I mean, I can totally and almost abso-concre-lutely envisioning taking this project off the ground....I mean, it'd just be so easy....tho of course, the hardest part would be the writing...it would need to be so incredibly tight! I am an absolute believe in strong scripts not to mention good art direction......

Oh..the possibilities!!!!!!! But concentrate.....I need to concentrate on the task at hand!!! That's one of my problems.....I daydream alot......so many ideas......but I don't know how to execute them!!!


Now for those of you who don't know what lonelygirl15 is......check it:
start here : http://www.lg15.com/lonelygirl15/?p=69
on Wikipedia : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lonelygirl15
on Encyclopedia Dramatica : http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Lonelygirl15
*warning Enclyclopedia Dramatica is not work or kid friendly!!! But in my net tv show research...I think it's a gem!!! eugene......i think you'd like this site...... ; ]

New Chapter, New Beginnings

So. It's been about a week since I left good old Tanah Melayu. And today is Hari Merdeka, the day we Malaysian won our independence from the British and declared ourselves Malaysia. It was a time to rejoice. I wish I could say the same about me. I am happy that I am here, away from the mother land, the people that I love. I'm even to a certain extent, use to it. But with all new beginnings, there comes that uncertainty for the future. That feeling of immense lost that comes with moving on. It is a time for........a teething period. A period where things are up in the air and nothing seems quite right. I'm at a place where everything I'm used to is not at my finger tips. I am adrift.

But that's not to say that I want to go back. That would be easy. That is not what I want. I just want the familiar. I want that sense of belonging. That sense that everything is going to be alright.

Perhaps I just need to find my center. My groove in this.....not so strange place. Perhaps I just need to find my place here....in the grand scheme of things. I do not want to go back. I want to stay. I am not.......homesick.

Perhaps it is a bit early to talk of all this. Afterall, I haven't even met my classmates, classes haven't even started. Perhaps it is my inability to jump right into things as I would have liked. Maybe it's the suddenness of departure from home soil. Perhaps I'm just overwhelmed. Perhaps......

When I Grow Up

"When I Grow Up" - PCD



Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy)
And you don’t care what they say
See, everytime you turn around
They scream your name

Now I've got a confession
When I was young I wanted attention
And I promised myself that I’d do anything
Anything at all for them to notice me

But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You know what it's like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
'Cause see when I was younger I would say

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines

When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it

They used to tell me I was silly
Until I popped up on the TV
I always wanted to be a superstar
And knew that singing songs would get me this far

But I ain't complaining
We all wanna be famous
So go ahead and say what you wanna say
You know what it's like to be nameless
Want them to know what your name is
'Cause see, when I was younger I would say

When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines

When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it

I see them staring at me
Oh I'm a trendsetter
Yes this is true 'cause what I do, no one can do it better
You can talk about me
'Cause I'm a hot topic
I see you watching me, watching me, and I know you want it


When I grow up
I wanna be famous
I wanna be a star
I wanna be in movies

When I grow up
I wanna see the world
Drive nice cars
I wanna have groupies

When I grow up
Be on TV
People know me
Be on magazines

When I grow up
Fresh and clean
Number one chick when I step out on the scene

Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it
You just might get it
You just might get it

Malaysian Artistes for Unity

Pass it on.....

New Years Resolution

Right...so New Years Resolutions.......only 25 days late...it's alright..it's still the first month...

I don't actually believe in making resolutions......but I have no idea what else to call them.....

Basically here's a list of things, I'd like to....achieve? aim for? include? in my life in the year and years to come....

1. Photograph more
I'm going to be one of those people who bring cameras every where they go. I feel that my life needs to be documented more......I mean, you're only young and this good looking once....sometimes...... ; ]

2. Write more
Both here on the blog and in real life.....actually getting around to finishing everything I start. Perhaps even dabble in a bit of editorial work. Coz really...even if I can't write a good article...I really think I can vet work really well.

3. Do more
Just get off my ass and do more things. I want to act? Go out on a limb and go for castings and auditions. I wanna dabble in retail? Go out and just do it. Wanna make a movie? Just get the people together and Nike! Coz there's no use just sitting there and waiting for stuff to happen. Make things happen. God helps those who help themselves, and I'm gonna help myself to a whole load of life.

So yea......that's basically it....I might just come back during the course of the week and add more stuff.....but that is basically it......resolutions. My To-Do list of this year...and perhaps even the rest of my life.

Step 1: Always carry a camera and buy that 2nd hand SLR.
Step 2: Dedicate time everyday to writing.
Step 3: Just get out of the house and be more involved in the world.....have you registered to vote?

ps: one of the reasons I'm so inspired is coz Alfred just got a copy of this month's Klue and guess who's got a 5 page spread? Heck if she can do it......so can I!

pps: note to self.....stop reading ppl's blog archives.......it can be hazardous to health...but really I don't know which is more painful.....said person having a Cartier Trinity Ring......or said person calling rose(red) gold, brass.........*knife thru the heart, knife thru the heart*
(she has the one...wihtout the diamonds...the classic.....I want........)

SM Town Audition downer....

Right...SM Entertainment...the lovely people who gave you BOA, Dong Bang Shen Ki and KangTa...were in town yesterday to hold their global auditions...

Needless to say...lie a good little starlet wanna be...I went......waited for 3 hours....and was late for work....Thankfully the lovely and ever compassionate Queen Leen was there to help me out and be Santa Rina for a day........I LOVE YOU SHER LEEN!!!

And needless to say since I'm not jumping of furniture........I didn't get in.......I'm not going to go..."but it was so short!" coz that's hog wash to a certain extent.......I'm just not what they are looking for......I don't have what they consitute as 'star quality'.

But does that mean I'll give up? HECK NO! There's still Taiwan.........and if not, the westerns.....Singapore and finally.....Malaysia.........

It's just....too bad my mom won't be able to point at a photo of her and KangTa and say...."Oh, my daughter is KangTa's 师妹。 "

Coz my mom thought KangTa was cute....which is surprising since she thinks F4 are so 'gay'.....gay as in look like girls.....but she does know what gay means......

Anyways.....c'est la vie.......it's their loss.........coz I'm going to be a super star......

I have to.....

Coz it's the only thing, I've got.

The New NLD

What is it with me and younger guys? Personally…..first NLD and now the new ‘NLD’, who hereby shall not be named to protect the innocent…..and by innocent, I mean me…as he is more than capable of using said information against me….Then on the rabid fan girl side...there’s a whole host of cute young spunky munchkins to ogle…..oh how glad am I that 熬犬 is older than me……

Is it maternal instinct kicking in? Or is it a Mrs Robinson syndrome? Who knows……..just be thankful it’s not as cradle snatching as last time! Jeez Louise…..5 years?! Sheesh!

But what ever it is……I’m not going to start jumping to emotional conclusions…let’s just….sit this one out…and let pieces fall where they lie……

In other news…….it’s been a mad week…so mad that I totally absolutely forgot to call that girl from HVD that James ask me to call for auditions for that TV show he’s doing for them! Ai-ya-yai! What the f**k man?!! Ah well……I can be all sour grapes about it but let’s just admit it’s a lost opportunity…Baks will argue I can still just call up…..but me being lazy….I just can’t be bothered…..and of course…..I STILL haven’t gone and cast at Famous Artiste……

Now the reason behind the madness……everyone who reads my blog should know it by now…..the pageant…..am tempted to call it bloody….but let’s not bite the hand that feeds you…..But it is damn 麻烦……I mean 3 evening gowns and 3 cocktail dresses in a week…..REALLY??!!! Thank goddess for Avee……she’s a lifesaver! I owe you so much, love! And Alan is a sweetheart from all the contact I’ve had with him……I’ll admit…I’m probably driving him up the wall! I know me…….I even drive Baks up the wall and he already has his hands full with Ju…..

I binge think and drive myself crazy over thinking and stressing over seeming little details……my immediate reaction after getting the list of stuff I need to get ready for the pageant? Stress….call Baki for emotional support and have him go….”okay babe. Don’t freak out. Stop stressing. Take a deep breath and relax… I’ll be back in KL tomorrow and we meet up okay?.....I know you, you start stressing and then you start crying.” and there I was on the verge of tears on the phone. But like a trooper I sucked it up and stuck it out. And now here we are……..post 5 impromptu vocal lessons, 2.5 evening dresses, 1 bikini and .5 cocktail dresses down the road with 5 days to go before the pageant. Alan said he’d help with the stuff I still don’t have, Avee’s helping to extend that dress, I’m buying that Ted Baker number, and contemplating on the RM500 mod cocktail (dress).

Yes ladies and gentleman………I am taking this quite seriously. Which brings me back to……..

Justin.

Yes, Fai…..one of this year’s Cleo Bachelors and last year’s Female Most Gorgeous Man. Justin it seems was one of the few people who took the Cleo thing seriously……may seem trivial to most people….but I mean…..this is what we do. But to a certain extent…I have to agree with the masses…it’s the Cleo Bachelors……it’s just a lark…plus….IT’S RIGGED!! Rigged so badly it’s like a politician on graft, sure thing. Don’t believe me? Check out all the past winners……..and then check out the cover of the issue when they were introduced…who I wonder is on the cover? Rigged or not? You decide.

Now why does that bring me back to Fai? Simple we both take these things seriously….which got me to thinking that we might be quite alike…..are we Sums?? Thos you might say you can’t be sure coz you don’t know him well…….I think we are in some ways….He thinks doing all this prep work for going on radio is grief he doesn’t need….much like my attitude with certain things to…Tracy and Amal and ssooo attest to that……we’re both pretty westernised….tho so is 1/2 the world but let’s not go there…..Britain played impotant parts in our lives,,,,,okay I just might be strstching it a bit on that one…….but I mean…attitude wise….our goals…..years ago, my goals were just like his…all over the place….actor-singer-fashion designer……….tho it’s still pretty much the same now… tv-stage-film-malaysia-taiwan-japan-scriptwriter-producer-baker/restaurantier… but I’d like to think, I have more…….vision? driven goals?....focus than I did a couple of years ago…..haha…it makes me sound so old compared to Fai, who in actual fact is like 3 years my senior……..but in certain ways….I do feel older….and somehow wiser…..he’s like this big child………

So now we’re back at the new ‘NLD’…things with him are so different.....where as in the past i was at thier beck and call...it's more of a 2 way thing with this at the moment......but the relationship whatever it turns itself out to be is still fledgling at best....so let's not jump to conclusions and jinx anything....

Of Proms, Loft and mamak stalls.....

That pretty much sums up the nearly phenomenal and near comsmic 'weekend' I had.......

To start things off was the 'prom'/grad party at Sanctuary for the ori DPA-ers.....ie Helena and my batch..haha....sorry I included my batch with Hel's....but I mean...they are the pioneers and we're the 'puinea gigs'......plus we're tight....

So..Sat evening was off to a slow start....J came over to my place to shower and we went together.....everyone was late...surprise surprise.....but when performances got onto way....surprisingly especially Khaz's act, good job mate!....things started to pick up.....and of course...the increase consumption of copious amounts of a pale alcoholic beverage also helped to add the increase of festivities....

Some of my boys decided to try the ice bar...which tho nothing more than a meatlocker with lights and alcohol.......becomes not surprisingly much more appealing....an insane idea since we're all in shirts and threadbare jackets and in mine, Tracy and Ain's case dresses but entertaining nonetheless.....


After our fill of chattering our teeth away, J and I whisked ourselves off to Loft to meet up with J's cousin who was returning to the UK the next day....I puked all that good Thai food on the way there.....see J! I told you I couldn't drink that much beer!!!....and let's just add..projectile vomit beware...haha.......ah...self-deprecation........not a pretty sight....but Zouk was fun...interestingly enough coz lil' ol me was so quiet.....his friend's thought I was pissed off or something.....I swear I wasn't........as surprising as it is...I'm actually quite shy.....so like plonk me down in a noisy environment with people I've only met once or twice and J being the social butterfly that he is......anti-social lil me ensues..............I am so sorry!! You guys are all a really nice bunch!! I swear!!


Right...so that was Saturday.......we can skip Sunday...coz it was basically a day in with me just popping out to KLPac to catch Franco Zeffirelli's Taming of the Shrew starring Liz Taylor.....so onto Monday mamak!

On Monday I bumped into Qahar...and I was also 'transferred' into the Technical dept at KLPac......and thank the goddess they keep me busy.......but anyways....bumped into Qahar who was rehearsing for Enemy of the People....and said, we really need to meet up and talk about our show......the one we were planning to do together......so since his rehearsals ended late and I'll prolly be stuck bumping-in at Pentas 2 till midnight...we decided to meet for mamak afterwards and discuss show possibilities....and discuss we did...till about 230am....at which point I needed to catch up on sleep and he needed to get home so his dad could sleep....lol...

So what we came up with was this......production slated for late Oct/early Nov...after Raya......we'll try our damnedest to revive the Shorts franchise...and we're giving ourselves a mid July deadline to come up with directors and pieces......if we don't have anything concrete by then....then it's theatre sports ensemble it is! Look out Actorlympics....there's a new improv show in town! Theatre sports should be fun.......so we'll see.....

The main problem now.....is finding directors for Short 3.....I'd really love to do Shorts 3...but well....it's pretty late in the year...and people have other stuff lined up and are pretty busy.....coz let's face it......late Oct/early Nov is literally just around the corner......our mid-July deadline is also cutting it rather fine.......so yea......I've tried asking a few people.....and most of them don't have the time....but still, fingers crossed....you never know what might happen.......

Well....till then.......that's it for my weekend wrap up.......ha! it's actually almost the end of the week when I'm writing this...tho the date won't show it......sue me if I like to plan my posts...... ; P

Seedlings of an idea...

Went to watch Vision Works' Actorlympics yesterday and surprise surprise I bumped into Qahar, Syat and Syed......so the usual after show activity ensued....mamak session.......long mamak session......

So eventually me and Qahar started talking.....and me being desperate to experience the acting buzz again......said we should do something.....and since Qahar said if you know the right people, and he seemed to know the right people, you can get Stor DBP for free........the seedling to stage re-vitalise that old Chaotic Harmony Theatre franchise, Shorts.....was formed.....so ladies and gents.......with crossed fingers....look forward to Shorts III.....

Those of you familiar with current Malaysian youth theatre will probably be going....and how is that different from The Oral Stage?

Well, experience for one. Most of us, the team, will most likely comprise of people who've been involved in theatre for the last....5-6 years. They'll most likely include ex-CHT-ers and ex-Rep16:21-ers. And unlike The Oral Stage, Shorts will not only comprise of original works, but will also be doing shorts or excerpts taken from established playwrights too. Another differing point will be....to a certain extent...will be higher production values....ha! how self-righteous!

Aside from that...upon talking to Soefira Jaafar who later joined us at the mamak......we then came upon the idea to establish a improv ensemble......much like, I think, Second City.....where you have a group of people who constantly do improv together......that makes it easier for this group of people to do something like Actorlympics, coz they already have this awareness of each other and this...camaraderie that helps immensely in improv.......okay..I truth...I've lost my train of thought....to let's just leave it at that shall we?

So basically.....in future..aka right after my internship.....look out for news on Shorts III and improv meets! haha!!

Life thru a lens

The purist in me is calling for blood as I search the web for a digital SLR.....my preferred brand of choice...Nikon.....tho I choose Sony for the mundane everyday camera....for video it's Panasonic....

I come from a, though I would like to say long but in truth, rather short tradition of photographers. My garndfather's a photog, my dad a rather gung-ho enthusiast and now my mom is trying to pick up my granddad's mantle........alas though...I still don't quite think mommy dearest has quite picked up the eye for it.......

Photography is a art......it's not just point and shoot.....tho you can do that with a lomo....lomos are fun.....actually...even then...you still need an eye for lomo...........

The ever elusive 'eye'......or perhaps it's just me.......but I think you really need to have an eye for these things...it's like art...and is a art.......you can learn it....like so many other things.....okay is it just me or did that just started to sound like the Nokia N95 ad on TV?

Okay but back to the purist.....I've always been a purist when it came to getting my own SLR......I've always loved the idea of being about to process your own in prints....call it nostalgia...I remember standing in my granddad's dingy little dark room waiting while he processed prints in near total darkness........for a lil kid......that was like an adventure......I don't know...to me...there's just something about holding a print in your hand.....something that resulted from a chemical process with silver gelatin.....it's the smell of it........instead of just a print-out from a computer.......photo paper means jack shyte.....

But in this age of digital media and with the advent of Photoshop..........going digital is much more wiser no? Plus that little preview screen is so useful...I mean how shyte is it to only find out you fudged up a shot after you process it right? I rue the day James started poisoning my brain with ideas of digital SLR!!!

So........digital it is.......or can I buy both? Hehehe............

How does this bode for me?

People have said many thing about my looks.......the most common being that I look kacuk.......

Then there are those who say I look like some famous people.....thankfully girls........they include......

Jacelyn Tay - Singaporean MediaCorp Actress

Megan Lai Ya Yan -Taiwanese Idol Actress

Ai Tominaga - Supermodel

This is what I look like...

So what do you think?


This weekend MediaCorp is having the KL auditions for their imfamous re-animated Star Search.....and I'm going for the auditions...


Does looking or not looking like the above mentioned stars bode well for me?

Only Time will tell....

Till then folks....wish me luck! I'm taking it easy this time around tho......not use getting all flustered........But I am preparing a song.......a bit of a song.......just in case....... ~_^

Multiple Possible Futures

Multiple Possible Futures....that sound like something right out of a Sci Fi movie...heck...it probably is.......

What I see lying before me.....are multiple paths, decisions and choices that all lead to a multitude of of destinies...... now which one is the one for me?

Mainly I'm divided into two camps.....the artistic theatrical purist....and the commercial fame obsessed fanatic.......oh and a third...the insane one that wants both but has no idea how to actually physically achieve it.....

Artistic purity comes with staying home and roughing it out in the wild wacky penny-pinching world we local Malaysian living-mouth-and-foot theatre practitioners call The Local Arts Scene...

Commercial fame and superstardom on the other hand....comes with a harrowing equally penny-pinching luck-be-a-lady-for-the-next-six-months trip to the land of Idol-dramas-with-badly-written-scripts and image-obsessed tv stars and pop idols........

The final one....oh puhleeze....let's not even go there...I mean...how is it possible?? Two places at once? FUR'GET A-BA'OUT ID.....But I could possible be digressing..

A fortune teller once told me...that I'd achieve recognition here.....and perhaps she was being nice about the Taiwan prospects.......but as I've said many times before in my old blog....I'd most certainly kill myself when I'm 35 if I don't at the very f-ing least give it the old college try.......

Which of course diverts from the subject tittle....

okay.......like all my ramblings...I've lost my train of thought...my original train of thought....

But what perhaps I am or was trying to say is....was.....there are so many possibilities for me.....to be philosophical, us all........how will we know which is the best choice...or the right choice? I mean...each possibility that presents itself has it's own validities.....mine does anyways.......there is just so much I want to achieve...and time is not exactly on my side anymores.......

Again....perhaps I should take it like Baks and Tracy....take it as it comes one thing at a time....

Dilemma dilemma dilemma.....

Presence...

Just came back from That Was The Year.....Sek Thim's new show playing at Pentas 2 all this weeka and next......It's definitely worth a watch...if you only watch one play this year...make it this one......but this isn't a review......I just wanted to say that to help publise the play........the review for it will come next week when I watch it again.........see!! I'm watching it twice! It's definitely worth it!

Anyways....plug over....

Right...so I just got back from That Was The Year......and it just went to prove something that I've always known and thought to be true....for me anyways...

站在舞台上的男人是最有魅力的 。

I don't know. There's just something about seeing a person on stage. And having that stage presence...being in his element........that just attracts me......

Tonight it was Malik...one of my Happy People.....Happy People are to me, people who just by their mere company are able to make me smile...I haven;t seen him in ages and only very recently did I realise that he was in That Was The Year.... But anyways...watching him onstage.....doing his thing.....that....concentration..and dedication.......is...awe-inspiring..... It's like when I saw Gary in Screwed... Or when Nick does his songs.......it's just that belief? in what they're presenting to you......That's also why I love YiDa, Chaw Ge, Daivd Tao...musicians who really love their music........That's why I like Oguri Shun, Fujiwara Tastuya, Narimiya Niroki.....actors, who despite not having seen them onstage....from their movies and TV stuff...I hope to Goddess they're that dedicated...and I think they are...I mean Yukio Ninagawa's gotta at least have that much foresight.....That's also why I'd do almost anything to help my boys, my real boys....coz I see their potential.......I can see what they could be if they'd just set their minds to it.....

Jeez...I make myself sound like some...贵 人 ....someone who's actually influential enough to make a difference........but every little bit counts no? Everyone needs someone to believe in them no? From that one person...it can multiply to two...then three...then four...then perhaps even exponentially......all it takes is just one person to open the right door......

Hhaha...from a post that was suppose to be a lament about my ideal boyfriend....it's turned into something else entirely.....but that's the way thoughts go....jumping from one thing to the next........how philosophical......I'm so pretentious........and I'll admit it tho.....I am......Pretentious.......it's my middle name.......

Peace...out....